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Chapter 17 - Hannah

The bed creaked softly as I tossed my back pack on to it. I look around the small room. lt didn't look like a room that belonged in a mental hospital. The walls were freshly painted white and the light brown comforter on the bed matched the burlap colored drapes.

“Hey sis,” a small voice spoke from behind. Dee and Jeanine stood in the doorway. Their expressions were full of guilt “I’m sorry Hannah, I know your just trying to deal with loosing mom but this is not a healthy way.” She didn’t make eye contact.

“Kennedi’s right. And they said you’d only be seeing the best therapist” Her hand lightly gripped my upper arm. I gave her a small smile. I wasn’t mad at either of them. I knew they were only trying to help me.

“We have to go now but we’ll come as soon as we can” they both left. It was only when they brushed past him did I notice Niall leaning on the doorframe. He shuffled towards me. His hands cupped the side of my face as his lips found mine.

“Are you ok?” he asked, his voice was almost a whisper

“Hannah, l’m sorry. I don’t want to do this.” A sweet lrish accent insisted behind me. I turned and gave

him a forgiving smile. “lt’s only to help you, love” He pressed his forehead to mine. I nodded signaling I

understood. His arms pulled me into his chest as if he were trying to protect me from something.

Myself, maybe; I don’t know. I grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it gently three times. I never wanted him to feel like I didn’t love him.

“Mr. Horan, its time for you to leave now.” The nurse said from the doorway.

“l’ll be back in a few weeks when you can have visitors. I promise” he kissed the top of my head and I

glanced up to see a small tear fall down his cheek. He quickly turned towards the door and stopped just

before exiting.

“l love you Hannah, always remember that” then he was out the door. I slumped onto the bed, not knowing what to do next.

“Ms. Winters?” another younger looking nurse strolled into the room. “l’m here to take you to your first

therapy session. Ls that alright?” I nodded and stood up. And so it begins

“Hannah, l’m going to ask you a few questions, is that ok?” The therapist asked. He was a thin young

looking man, in his late twenties, with dark brown hair. I nodded “Do you know why you were brought

here?” I nodded again. “Good” he scribbled something in his notepad “Do you think you need to be

here?” I shrugged. I didn’t know if I needed to be there. I knew not speaking wasn’t exactly normal but it

didn’t feel abnormal either. Lf the one person I wanted to talk to wasn’t there to listen, what was the

point? My mom wasn’t here and she was never coming back. There was no one to listen.

He wrote another comment down. “l want you to understand something; you are not a danger to

yourself or others so you are here on a voluntary basis until or unless I deem you otherwise.

Understand?” he peered over his glasses, which made him look older. “Would you feel comfortable

speaking?” I shook my head ‘no’ “Ok that’s fine. This is your session; you get to decide how it plays out.

Can ask you about your mom?” I shook my head again. “Ok how about your sister?” I hesitated but

decided if we were going to get anywhere in this session we’d had to start somewhere.

The session went on for about an hour then the nurse from before came in to walk me back to my room.

Apparently all patients must be escorted to and from their room. I sat on my bed thinking back about

how the session went. Everything the doctor had asked. With every question he twisted, his own words

to try and talk about my mom, but I couldn’t. He talked about Kennedi and about Jeanine. Surprisingly

he knew more about me than I thought he would. Then He talked about Niall. He noticed I beamed when he asked about him, l couldn’t help it. He was amazing. I had never opened myself to anyone like I did with Niall. As I thought about him more a smile grew across my face but then faded. How was I going to go another 2 weeks without him?