Something To Fear | Glenn Rhee

[여덟] Final Hope

"I didn't think I could be strong."

~Carol Peletier

The days after returning from Alexandria were tense for the Saviors. Negan had not been acting like his usual, jerky, self. If the Saviors thought his past self was terrible, this "new" Negan was a tyrant. He lashed out more often at his men, threatening them with Lucille over the smallest things. He did not jokingly insult them; he outright terrorized them. No one knew why this dramatic shift had occurred.

No one that is except for Negan.

Negan could not stop thinking about what he encountered in Alexandria. More specifically, who.

Yeah, it was fun to see Rick writhe under him. He found Carl's anger to be amusing. It was really entertaining to see the women trying to defy his authority. He found enjoyment in seeing Glenn trying to stand up to him.

For a while.

Somehow, his sadistic pleasure in their misery was slowly draining into a tedious monotony. He had not felt this way for so long, that he couldn't even describe it.

He knew that what he had done would break them, but to see them at this point gave him pause. He considered laying off a bit; he had made his point clear enough.

But there was always the chance that Rick's group would take his "mercy" for weakness, and he could simply not allow that.

He was also concerned that his followers would see this emotion and consider him to be a faulty leader. They would only listen and respect a brutal and strong leader; not one they would mistake for a pansy.

To reinforce this idea in their heads, his grip on them tightened. He became more ruthless, less jolly. He would not lose everything he worked so hard to build to some pathetic emotion. Fear was the only way to rule.

Sherry was no exception to Negan's newfound brutality. He had been rougher with her, manhandling her even that he left bruises.

She thought she had been scared before, but she was terrified now.

She knew Dwight wanted to talk to her, but she couldn't risk Negan finding out. She had a feeling that if they were caught, they would end up on the wrong side of a barbed bat.

~

Several miles away in Alexandria, Rick and his closest friends were gathered in his house. He had called them all over to share the final words of Carol Peletier.

He cleared his throat before reading:

"Family and Friends,

Or whoever finds this.

I don't even know how I survived this long... Every day I wake up and this thought crosses my mind. I was never strong. I think I was able to get by each day because I pretended to be strong. When Sophia died, I only pretended to be tough. When Lizzie, Micah, Beth, and Herschel died, I continued doing this.

Then Daryl and Maggie died. And I couldn't pretend anymore.

I couldn't bear the weight of knowing I got the man I loved, the man who retained my sanity and hope throughout everything, killed.

I couldn't look at Glenn without thinking his family was dead because I decided to be selfish. I had grown close to Maggie over all our tribulations. I considered her family.

But because my guilt prevailed over my logic, she is dead.

Dear, whoever is reading this, you probably don't even care about I'm saying. For all I know, Negan could be reading this. Or one of his men.