I'm Not Crazy

~22~ The'rapy Part Duex

Rode down the highway to hell
I was caught in the middle of a railroad track
I looked around and I knew there was no turning back.
My mind raced and I thought what could I do?
And I knew there was no help, no help from you!

Thunderstruck ~ AC/DC

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To my vast amusement, it turns out that when Connie is not making Red Ice for Canadian hockey fans, he acts as a reserve police officer for Buddy. Which is sadly almost actually as hilarious as it sounds. Because when he has to wear his big boy cop cadet jumper, he totally looks like an angry Cossack two-year-old in a giant onsey.

To me, Connie was seriously sorta scary at first. With all his tattoos and the reputation of random acts of violence to go with them. But that was until I got to know him a little better on his visits home from playing hockey up in the Great White North. Oddly unlike most of the Crazies, Connie is the exact opposite of what he looks like? Instead of an angry swearing savage bent on destruction, he is a surprisingly pretty easy going guy. Who is especially nice to animals and small lost children. Which I guess now includes me, more or less?

So now I sort of think of him more as a gigantic Cossack kindergartner, all wide-eyed and full of innocence. He almost always has a five o clock shadow and a scruffy, barely-there soul patch. Which I'm guessing is to compensate for the babyface and the wide-eyed innocent thing, with the single stripper mothers of the Great White North Canada.

So while going to The'rapy is not fun by any means. I have to admit that it is almost fun driving around in an off-duty cop car with Connie the Cossack. To be honest, it feels very Jake and Elwood Blues to be rolling around in an old police black and white cop car with the big grinning goon. While he overly rocks out to all his hockey macho motto songs. So thanks in no small part to Connie's horrible hockey playlist of pump-me-up pain songs. By the time we get to the The'rapy, I am almost super psyched up about getting psyched out by my headshrinker.

When we finally pull up to the second saddest parking lot in Three Valleys, the spot is virtually empty. Well, save for the big the willow tree in the middle that is already weeping, as usual. Connie immediately jumps out of the cop car and starts glaring around the empty parking lot look for trouble. Like there might be Taliban ninja pirates hidden in the weeping willow trees waiting to attack me on the way to mental wellness.

"Easy there, Cujo." I snort rolling out the cop car and head towards all the healing awaiting me. With Connie stomping out in front of me, acting the overprotective bodyguard. Like I am an important person or something, which was almost as amusing watch. We hit the front door and enter into the O'Keeffe feminine flower gallery to show Connie what he's been missing.

"Hello Samantha ...and friend?" Dr. Klein smiles almost pleasantly at me when we roll into the waiting room.

Amazonia is perched just outside her office, sipping a cup of something that smells way to healthy to be coffee. Probably some sort of secret sacred feminine flower herbal elixir from the ancient Isle of Lesbos. Since the last time here, I've learned some fun facts about the ol' Isle of Lesbos. One of which is that the island of Lesbos sports one of the few petrified forests in the Mediterranean. Seems like all the hardwood on Lesbos turned to stone and died a long time ago ...so go figure?

"What's up doc?" I fake smile right back her.

"And you must be Connor McCray?" Amazonia smiles down on Connie. Which is probably a first for him since kindergarten, to literally be looked down on by someone taller than him.

"Wo! You were right Sammi, she totally is psychic!" Connie whispers way too loud to keep that thought to himself, with his super impressed big blinky eyes of magical amazement.