The Journal Life - A Rant Book

Journal #1: The day...i cut myself

Hi again...so this is all true non-fiction. I just wanted to say that for all you people out there who feel depressed or unwanted, you are loved! If u ever need someone to talk to, I am here. Just drop a comment and I'll respond to you as soon as possible. I love you guys! <3

I also just wanted to give a quick shoutout to one of my good friends. She inspired me to start Wattpad! You know who your aree!!! I love youuuuu! <33
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-November 21, 2016-
-Lunch Time-
-12:36PM-

Another day......Another time of life. I wish I was dead, in the cold breath of night. Cuts on my arms, I count them: one.....two......three.......and so on. I count seven. Seven deep cuts:
1. Depression: 4 years of bullying, hurtful words, and being alone.
2. Sadness: fake smiles everyday doesn't go so far. I pretend to be ok and well, when really inside, I'm broken.
3. Uselessness: every day in homeroom I sit alone...and it hurts.
4. No emotion: sometimes I have no sign of emotion or happiness because I'm so dead inside.
5. Insecurity: I look in the mirror and see my solid reflection. I think to myself "I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm overweight, I'm nothing.......
6. Thoughts: I think about thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. Suicide, death, blood and scars.
7. Suicide: I think how I would die. Overdose? Loss of blood from my neck or wrist? Jumping off a building? I think...why should I be alive right now.

It hurts when I cut, but the pain feels good. It feels calming. When I see the bright red blood stream down from my arm I say "this is what I live on this earth for."

                                    ~ Sam