The Baby

twenty one

She was tall with these long dark legs looking amazing in her orange crystal dress. Her head was filled with these blonde box braids and she looked like an entire barbie doll.

"What's going on?" Ariana tried to get answers from me but I had none. I didn't have an answer or an explanation for why Grayson was coddled with this random woman.

"I have no idea. But I feel stupid," I covered my face with my hands. I'm here caring for his child and playing house while he's out with other woman. "I don't know what to do. What do I do?" We've establish several times we're not only marrying for him to become CEO, but because we care for each other. This isn't what you do to those you care about.

"You need to talk to him. Don't do anything irrational," she suggested and it was probably the right thing to do. As much as I wanted to jump to conclusions, I needed to speak with him. But it would have to be done in the morning because right now I would explode if I saw him.

"You're right," I agreed before hanging up. I went up the stairs, going to Amelia's room to pick her from the crib. She stayed asleep while I walked with her to a guest bedroom on the other side of the house. Despite never coming in here, the room was still spotless thanks to the housekeepers who come in once a week. After locking the door, I got into the bed and laid Amelia beside me. Grayson never lets me bring her into bed with us, but sleeping beside her is calming.

I was almost fully asleep when the bedroom door opened. I stared at Grayson's shadow in the doorway. Leave it to Grayson to have a key to every bedroom in this home. He didn't say anything and I hoped it meant he would go away.

"Are you sleeping in here tonight?" Grayson asked, keeping his anger to himself. He knew exactly what I was upset about and wanted to see to what extent.

"Mhm," I shut my eyes. If I shut him out, maybe he would just go away.

"Why?"

"Amelia is sleeping," I cut off any further conversation. Amelia is good, but if her sleep is rudely interrupted, she will never go back to sleep.

"So come out here and let's talk," he instructed and the last thing I wanted to do right now was talk. I wanted to punch him in the face for playing me as an idiot. But Grayson wasn't going to leave.

I got out of the bed, leaving the room. I left the door open a crack in case Amelia woke up. Before I could even stop myself, my hand slapped against the side of his face. I wanted to do much worse and he was lucky I didn't do worse. I didn't expect him to just stand there and accept my slap. But the fact that he did was almost like he was admitting he deserved it because he did something wrong.

"I know how this looks," he defended himself. Him having to defend himself made me want to break down into tears.

"I'm sure you know how this looks, but do you know how this makes me feel? Do you not understand how your actions affect other people? I feel embarrassed you just had this...this back up plan for if I couldn't make it," I asked and he looked at me like I was crazy to even think such a thing.

"I didn't have a backup plan, baby. I ran into her on the carpet and I thought it wouldn't be a terrible idea to take a few pictures with her. Her father is the Senator and it looks good on the company if-"

I put my hand up to stop him because I truly couldn't listen to him any further. "You played couple with her for the night because of work? Are you serious right now?" I asked him. First it starts with taking pictures at red carpets then it's dinners then it's fucking. Where does he draw the line if the excuse is always going to be work? "Do you know her?"

"I mean, yes. New York City is small. It's easy to know and become acquainted with people. We were friends," he shrugged. Friends. That's a word everyone but Grayson Astor uses.

"I thought you don't have friends," I crossed my arms. He took a deep breath then looked at the ground. He said friends but he forgot to add the with benefits at the end. "You've slept with her," I slowly nodded. That's not something to be upset about. He had a life prior to me, so of course he has a long list of prior sexual companions. But he's supposed to be in a relationship with me. You don't just walk the red carpet with prior sexual partners and act like you're in a relationship with them while the person you're actually in a relationship with is at home.

"That's all it was. You know me, I don't do relationships," he explained and I understood that part. Maybe his lack of prior relationships will make our relationship more difficult than it needs to be.

"When did it stop?" I don't know why I was curious, but it felt like I needed to know.

"I don't know, Kalani. I don't keep track of dates." That's a lie considering he is the most meticulous person I know. "Soon after you agreed to marry me?"

He went half my pregnancy fucking this girl who the entire city now thinks he's in a relationship with. I have never felt so stupid and naive. The entire time throughout my pregnancy, I thought he was completely for me. It's not even that he was sleeping with Marianne while I was pregnant or that he spent his entire night with her, it's that I felt like I don't even know him. Grayson is a private person, but I thought he was private with everyone other than me. I thought it was us being private together while being in our little bubble.

"Why were you fucking her for so long?" My curiosity got the best of me. His expression revealed how surprised he was to hear the question. He didn't want to have this conversation.

"She takes it up the ass and gives phenomenal head." I wanted the truth and that's exactly what I got.

"Why not Marianne? She's beautiful. You care a lot about connections. Her and her family could provide that for you." I know everything I have to bring to the table and don't doubt I could make him happy. But Marianne's father is a Senator.

"She's too subservient. She lacks a backbone because of how her parents raised her. Some men may like that, but I prefer my woman to have a brain of their own. I like playful banter," he sighed, brushing his thumb along my chin. I held my breath at his touch. "And most importantly, because she's not you."

"I'm too tired for this," I shook my head with a sigh. Being upset with him over this feels wrong, but I also can't see myself not being upset about him letting people think he's in a relationship with her when we were supposed to use today as our moment to announce our engagement.

"Come to bed with me. Please?" Grayson took my hands into his, bringing them to his lips to kiss. "I don't want her, Lani. If I wanted to marry her, I would've done so a long time ago. It's you I want to marry. It's you I'm going to marry." My heart felt like it was being twisted and I didn't understand how he could say all these reassuring words to me but think it's okay to do what he did.

"You only feel this way because of Amelia. If she wasn't in the picture then this marriage and this whole...everything else wouldn't be happening," I tried to convince myself. I want to love Grayson. I see his love for Amelia and I want the same thing. But his love for Amelia is unconditional while his love for me is conditional. It rides on the condition that I marry him and am a mother to his child. "I'm going to sleep. We can talk more in the morning," I pulled my hands from him, stepping back to go back into the guest bedroom.