They Found Out | C.F. & O2L

Chapter 21

Ricky eyes me suspiciously when I walk back into the bed room. He is off the phone and luckily for us, Connor is still asleep. "What were you doing?" He asks me. "Just checking. We need to check his arms. I found blades." He doesn't look too happy with this news. He slowly lifts up Connor's sleeve. Nothing. We're not relieved though. There's another arm we need to check. And as I had never expected. A fresh cut. It looks like it's only been made today. I wonder if he did that this morning or before his breakdown.

I can't believe I'm only finding out about this cut now. There would have been multiple times today where I or at least someone would have had the chance to see it. I know it's only a small cut, but still. He brought it onto himself with one of those damned blades I found. I want to throw them out, flush them or burn them. Something to keep Connor from using them to harm himself. He doesn't deserve it.

Ricky stayed, while I went back down again to Sweets and the others. "Why is he still doing this?" I asked the questions with multiple pauses in between. I couldn't get the sentence out like that. I had to break it up. The boys look at me questioningly. I think Sweets knows well what I'm talking about. He just wants to hear me say it out loud. "What is he still doing, Kian?" Like I said. He wants me to say it, but I can't. I motion my eyes to my wrists and back to his eyes a few times. "I know what you mean." He wanted to continue, but got cut off by Jc running away. We could hear him throw up in the toilet we have in hidden away in the hallway underneath the stairs.

"I'll go check on him and take him upstairs if needed." Tyler announced and he left. Troye felt like he needed to be present in this conversation. He might be in the background at times, but he does care about Connor and Connor trusts him a lot. When he was still back in Australia, he was the one Connor went to over Skype. They would talk for hours and Troye would cheer him up.

It's not like that anymore. Ever since the first time Tyler and Troye moved in, they grew apart. As in less conversations, but the bond they have still exists. You need to look for it, but it's still very present in both boys. They know they are best friends and they know what they can do for each other and what both boys can get out of their friendship. Being positive or negative. The outcome is always great and most likely created a stronger bond between them.

I wish I had a friendship like that with someone. It's seriously something to be jealous off. They don't even need words to communicate. It's really special what they have and I hope it will stay. Both help each other to get better and support each other through everything. Personally and famously wise.

I wonder where everything went wrong. Didn't Connor trust him with this secret? Did he trust anyone anyways? I don't think he did. Otherwise Troye would have enlightened us as soon as he knew, for Connor's safety.

Tyler and Jc didn't come back. Tyler did after a long while and told us he put Jc to bed. He has a little fever. I hope it is the stress getting to him and not something else. Something worse, to be more specific. We talked some more with Sweets until he left. It was about to hit midnight and to be honest, everyone was tired. Normally we could stay up late or even go throughout the night without sleep. Just not now. Not after this.

Tyler's P.O.V.
Jc threw up everything he could. He ended up retching. It wasn't a pleasant sound. When he finished, I handed him a glass of water to rinse the nasty taste away. I helped him up. "You want to go upstairs?" He shakes his head. "You are in no shape to go back in there." I fight him. He softly nods his head. He's even too sick to fight. I help him upstairs and set him down on his bed. I take his feet and pull them onto the bed. He slumps down and turns onto his side. I lay the covers over him and tell him goodnight. He closes his eyes without even saying something back.

When I get down, Sweets is still present. I listen to the rest of their conversation and watch him leave. We finish everything up downstairs like putting the dishes in the dishwasher, turning off all the lights and lowering the heater in temperature. I wait in the hallway while Kian checks up on all the guys. Connor is luckily still asleep while Ricky is still with him.

Connor's P.O.V.
When I wake up, I know I'm not alone. I turn around to face a sleeping Ricky. "Ricky?" I shake his shoulder. He finally woke up. I stood up carefully as I am not feeling very well and both Ricky and I make our way downstairs. "You look terrible." Troye says when I enter the kitchen. "Forget what I said. He looks worse." Jc stops walking when he notices Troye pointing at him. "Jeez, thanks." He says. "My pleasure." Troye responds.

"What happened to you?" I ask him. He shrugs and stands there staring at Troye and murdering him in his thoughts. He gives up, knowing he won't get what he just wished for and sat down. He sits down as far away from Troye as possible, which was at the other side of Kian. "Nothing." He says, but even his voice sounds horrible. He coughs as his throat is probably hurting. We sit down at the neatly set table. Everything can be found on it. From chocolate to cheese and croissants to plain pieces of bread.

We all eat in silence. It's awkward. Jc isn't eating a lot. I'm not eating a lot and the others noticed. No one really speaks until Kian decides to break the awkwardness by announcing his plans for the day. The others tell theirs and I notice that I'm the only one who's got nothing to do. Apart from Jc, who's going back to bed after breakfast. He's tired and still has a high temperature. I announce to the others that I will stay home to watch Jc. We can't leave him alone.

When the house is empty, Jc finally asks for my help. He is still seated at the table. I help him get up and take him to the couch. I lay him down and take a blanket and pillow to support his head and cover his overly heated body. This is more than just a high temperature. I grab some dry biscuits, just to make sure he can eat something if he wants something. I also place a glass filled with water in front of him.

There is one thing I want to do right now. I don't even mind about the deal I entered with Hayes and Shawn. I enter my bedroom. I close the door behind me, knowing Jc won't be able to walk up the stairs by himself and I'm also pretty sure no one else is coming home very soon. I am in doubt this whole thing. I know I shouldn't do it, but I also know that I want to do it.

I walk over and sit on the side off my bed. I open up my bedside table and find my well hidden blade. I roll up my sleeve and look at my arm. There are so many scars and I'm questioning myself if I should add some. I don't want to disappoint the boys. I don't want to hurt them. I take the blade and place the cold metal on its side on my arm. When I'm used to the cold, I put the blade on my arm ready to cut it. I keep it there. Should I really do this?

Author's note:
I'm so sorry for the delay! I've been having a bit of personal problems and my favourite horse from riding school almost died. And just a lot of exam stress..

Please vote and/or comment to help me and I hope to upload faster in the near future. Hope to see you next time!