The Way We Used To Be [Another Negan fan fic] [completed]

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Ann
"So, why do you say sorry every time you kill one of those things?" Negan looked at me and I smiled, taking another probably not needed sip of my liquor. This was going to be a long night and I knew it would go by faster if I got shitfaced. It hadn't been more than a few hours since we got trapped, but Negan and I grew tired of being smart with each other so I suggested we just shoot the shit and drink. It was easier that way.

"They were once people. You and me. They had families and people who cared about them. It's easy to forget that now a days. I just never wanna forget them or who they might of been before the virus."

I chugged down some of the harsh liquid and spat as it burned my throat. "Too sappy for your own good." Negan titled his head and I shook my own. "If I'm not, I could end up like you." I smiled and he smirked back at me. He then stood up and walked the short distance over to me. I smiled up at him as he clumsily slid down the wall and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"If you did, you'd be better off." I smiled weakly at his words. The alcohol had finally kicked in and was actually enjoying the relaxation in the moment. "Says you. Or, I'd be able to bash someone's head in without blinking. I don't want to forget what it means to take someone's life. I don't want to grow cold to it." I looked up at him expecting a smirk, instead I caught him staring into the distance.

"I don't like doing it as much as you think. After awhile, it just got easier." I raised my head from his shoulder. I could see something in his eyes. I don't know if it was regret, or pain. I'd be lying to say it didn't touch my heart. I was surprised, I felt bad for Negan and wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to save him from this path. He thinks it's the better one, but I've seen too many people so sure of themselves. And I've also seen Rick drive his axe in their once cocky face.

"It doesn't have to always be like that, Negan. No one is the same since everything started, but if you don't keep even the smallest amount of humanity, than we're no different than the ones out there." Negan looked at me and his eyes were shimmering as he stared at me.

"Ann." He whispered and I knew what he was about to do. I stood up and quickly fell back. A wave of dizziness hit me like a ton of bricks by the sudden jerk. Negan catching me before I hit the ground.

"I thought you could handle your stuff?" He looked at me and I started to laugh. I quickly covered my mouth to muffle the sound. "I thought I could too, but it isn't the alcohol I can't handle." I stopped smiling and looked up at Negan. When i saw his eyes I could see my old life. Our old life. The baby planning and the new house, the Sunday night dinners and the way it had all felt. I saw my husband.

"We can't." I slowly got to my feet and held out my arms, trying to steady my balance. "We can't what? Be together?" Negan stood from his spot. I tried to avoid his stare but found myself drawn to it and the liquor left me little power to ignore his pressing questions.

"Things are different now. We are. You aren't my Negan." I stumbled back to the wall and Negan pressed his hands to either side of my head, blocking me in. "We are different, but our feelings aren't, Ann. I love you, and I know you still love me." He stared at me and I couldn't hold back any longer. "Negan..." He kissed me and when he did, I didn't pull back. I melted into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck as he pressed his body into mine. This wasn't right. Stop stop stop. I shouldn't be doing this, but his lips were warm and his hands were needy. I curled my fingers through his hair and melted into his kiss that tasted of whiskey.

Negan

It was happening. It wasn't a dream and this time when I kissed her, she didn't pull away. We were both drunk, that I knew. But the way she looked at me, and how she said my name, I knew she wanted this as much as I did.

"Ann." I whispered and gripped her hips, digging my fingers roughly into her flash. I found my hands under her ass to lift her up over my waist. Her legs finding support as she wrapped them around me tightly. The pressure alone sending a chill down my body. It all seemed to stop. I couldn't think of anything but her lips and the way she tasted. I walked over and laid her gently on floor, finding myself hovering over her. My hands grabbing at whatever part I could.

"Negan." I heard her moan this time when I found that sweet spot on her neck. I kissed and sucked, biting just a little and her soft whimpers gave me the confidence to keep going. I slid one leg over my waist and pressed deeper against her, attacking her neck and going lower. My mind was half blurred but the feeling came second nature. "Negan." Her tone changed and I stilled. I looked up at her through the darkness of the room and moved up to cup her face. "We can't do this, not now." She looked at me and I nodded my head, moving off her. "I'm sorry. You know I was always able to get frisky with you anywhere, anytime."

Her chuckle was lowered and I pulled her into my chest. "Remember in the bathroom of that library?" "Only because someone couldn't wait till we got home." She poked me on the nose and I grabbed her hand.

"I don't remember any objections from you once we got started." She smirked and I took a deep breath in, looking down at her.

"Goodnight, Negan." She closed her eyes and I leaned down to kiss her forehead before closing my eyes. "Goodnight, sweetie."