Sweetest Goodbye

Chapter Eleven

~Chapter Eleven~

To avoid confution the parts in italics are the past, Zayn is having like flashbacks/remembering things.

*Zayn's POV*

We're at a party, Niall, Harry, and I. There are way too many people, there are people dancing, people trying to dance, and people making out. I don't think that I know any of them, as the party is one of Niall's friends from uni. Niall and Harry have gone off on their own, probably talking to people they know or something. They've left me all by myself and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I awkwardly stand by the edge of where people are dancing, trying not to look at anyone too long, I don't want people to think that I'm a stalker.

"You look a little bit lonely." A voice that I don't recognize comes up from behind me.

I turn around, "Oh. Um. Yeah, you see my friends brought me here, but I really don't know anyone here besides them." Then I get a look at the stranger. His brown hair is longer than normal, and is somewhat curly. His face is adorable and happy-looking, like a puppy.

"Well it wasn't very nice of them to just let you wonder around by yourself, now was it?" He lightly grabs my wrist and forces me to follow him. "C'mon. I'll show you where Ash hides the good drinks."

I don't remember much about the rest of that night. I do remember laughing a lot, I dimly remember dancing on top of a couple of tables.

The best part about that night though, was that I became friends with Liam.

I don't know what I would do without Niall and Harry, they've been so nice about everything. I can't go back to our apartment (whether or not Liam is there, I can't afford the rent on just my income.) I wish I could express to them how much I appreciate everything that they're doing right now, but I can't.

It's not that I'm not feeling emotion, I've been feeling a lot of different emotions in the last couple of days, and it's definitely not that I don't want to express anything. It's that I can't.

When I'm alone in my bedroom at night, I wish I would cry, at least if I was crying I would know that I'm upset. I can't cry though, and that's what scares me. I'm beyond the point of crying about my sadness. I don't even know if what I'm feeling qualifies as sadness anymore. Anguish. Desperation. Irreparable. All of these words define only a small part of what I'm feeling.

A year has gone by since that party. Liam and I are almost as close as friends can possibly be. I feel as if I know him better than I know myself. There's only one problem when it comes to our friendship. His girlfriend.

If she wasn't such a bitch, I probably wouldn't have a problem with him having a girlfriend, but she is one of the worst people I know. I hate her so much. She makes such a big deal about anytime that Liam and I hang out together. Plus she's always dropping little hints about weddings, and that annoys me to no end. They've been dating for less than a year and a half. That's not really that long.

There's also the fact that I have a minor crush on him. Minor. I probably wouldn't be jealous at all if the person he was seeing wasn't such a bitch.

There's a knock on my apartment door. "Zayn! Open up it's me!" Speak of the devil.

I open up the door immediately. He comes straight inside and we automatically head to the couch. Liam looks kind of pale. "You okay? You don't look so good."

"No. No I'm not really that good. I need some advice Zayn, and I want you to be completely honest with me." I nod before he continues. "It's Leah. She told me that she wants to get engaged. I mean, she'd hinted at it before, but this time she straight up told me that she wanted to get engaged soon. I'm not ready to get married Zayn. We're young, we'll have plenty of time for stuff like that later right? I don't even know if she's the one ya know." He takes a couple deep breaths. "Tell me what I should do."