Losing Kim Taehyung

twelve

"Why am I a fool for you?
Why do I still hold a conversation with you?
Why do I dream about you?
Why am I a fool for you?"

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When Hoseok was too drunk already and no control of himself, I dragged him out of the dance floor, and went back to the table. The others let him lay down on the couch as he finally dozed off.

I felt a little dizzy, but compared to Hoseok, I could still walk properly. I sat on the couch, next to Hoseok's feet. My eyes badly wanted to sleep, but I kept forcing myself not to. I still need to go home. I repeatedly told myself.

"Are you guys okay?" I heard a girl's voice that woke me up from almost dozing off. She has a sweet tone in her voice that made you want to hear her talk everyday. I looked up to see it was that Solji—Hoseok's girlfriend, and Taehyung was walking behind her.

"Hoseok doesn't seem okay." Namjoon answered the girl.

"How about you? Are you okay?" She was definitely asking me. I took a quick glance from her as she carefully lifted Hoseok's head and placed it on her lap then gently massaged his hair.

"Ahh, I'm okay." I told her, eyeing at Hoseok's sleeping face on her lap then looked up to her face. My vision was a bit blurry, but I tried to take a good look on her face. She looks mature, sophisticated and beautiful compared to me or any other girls in high school, like she was born to be like that—like she was born to take over the world with her beauty and make the world her runway. Her pale skin, her dark short bob hair, her red lips, and her tall and sexy figure—everything seems to be perfect on her, and I felt insecure as I stared at her more. Then, it hit me like a train of thoughts, she was too familiar all of a sudden that I got to recall that I've already seen her as Taehyung's phone wallpaper a couple of days ago. She was her. It was Solji. But then, I got confuse. If Hoseok and Solji are a couple, then does that make Taehyung trapped in his unrequited love for Solji? I looked at Taehyung who was avoiding his gaze from the couple beside him. I suddenly felt bad for him.

"I'm Solji." She said, interrupting me from drowning in my own thoughts as she extended her hand towards me.

"Areum." I said, smiling as I shook her hand.

"You look pretty." She said, staring at me after we let go of each other's hand. "You look so adorable and youthful. I used to feel insecure that I looked too old for my age, but somewhat, it became my advantage." Solji stated, and I didn't know if she was being sarcastic or not, but it sounded kind enough though.

I wanted to hate her. I really do, not just because she made me feel that she was my rival for Taehyung (when in reality she wasn't anyone's rival at all because she wasn't even trying), but also she made me feel that Taehyung exists because of her. I didn't know how to explain it, but everytime I looked at her, it made me look and feel too desperate for Taehyung's love wherein for her, she would just stand there and bammm, Taehyung would crawl many obstacles just to be with her. Now, she made me feel worse. I just wished that she was a bitch instead, someone who would slap me right away after seeing her boyfriend danced with me, but no, she was too nice. Maybe if she was a bitch, I could have more reasons to hate her, but too bad, she wasn't.

"I don't think your girl can handle it anymore. Maybe, you should take her home." Solji told Taehyung who was just standing next to her. It was true, I couldn't handle it anymore—the alcohol in my head, the insecurity and jealousy I'm feeling, and everything that still confuses me. I could no longer handle it!