The Gang Leader and I

Chapter 24

It's been a couple weeks since Jessie died but both shadow and I have been distracting ourselves although it still hurts sometimes. Shadow has changed a lot. And not for the good.

After he'd make sure I was asleep he'd sneak off and go out to drink with his friends then came back to bed smelling like alcohol. I didn't mind for the the first few days but then it started getting out of hand.

He wouldn't even come back now and I'd be home alone till 4am before getting a call to come pick him up from various Of different clubs.... it happened so much it led to this..

but lemme  explain from the start as I lie in my bed and review my flashback for you

F L A S H B A C K

I laid on the huge bed in Shadows apartment thinking about what's happened during the time, everything's gone so off guard, thinking about the other night when we sat and chilled watching movies to now. The clock hit 3:55....3...2...1 *phone rings*, wasn't any different than any other night, at 3:55am exactly is get a call from some club to go and pick up my boyfriend.

Now you might be thinking, 'why do I even bother', I honestly don't know what makes me want to go to him every night, driving for up to 2 hours looking for him but I do, and I can't seem to not let my self go.

I was already dressed, I was pale, my body's gone much flatter, and the bags under my eyes were ridiculous. I looked like shit. No lie about it. I got in the car rubbed my eyes before beginning to drive to the main club he called from.

*1 1/2 hours later*

I walked inside and smiled at the bartender sadly as he gave a smile back, he looked nervous ? I wasn't sure till I looked around and found shadow. On the couch. With a blonde female. She was giving him a lap dance and occasionally kissed his lips, he kissed back with a drink in his hand and rolled up blunt sitting in an ash tray.

I stopped and stared, hoping he'd notice my presence. Did he not appreciate what I've been doing for him? I've been paying his apartment bills, lost my whole self for him, drifted apart from my friends just for him! And yet I never understood why he was hurting so much If Jessie wasn't his ?

I'd understand that it was all a lie. But it's been 2 months. Surely the pain should have eased. I guess not. I realized that I was still staring but I felt different. My eyes pierced into shadows eyes. I was angry. But I remained quiet. No sound came from my mouth. I stared.

Her lips were on his and he was staring at me. Not stopping his actions at all. I blinked and turned around. I walked out the club and sat on the small chairs at the front trying to regain my consciousness. He didn't run after me or anything. It was like nothing seemed to have ever happened between us.

How do men do that ? They get into a relationship but cheat? What is it that we women don't give? What are we doing wrong? At least be single when you want to get in with another female, for less drama and no bad reputations. Is cheating the new "cool thing", the new top 5 things to do world wide. Why do men treat us like the pain they give us when they cheat is like a feather? Do they not feel any guilt ? Any sadness ? Why is it that us women get more effected when a man cheats. How we're supposed to act like it's all Gucci ? I'm not saying that women don't cheat but it's my situation now when I'm being cheated on so I guess I have a reason to rant ab the male species cheating.

I didn't know what to do. I look up at wondering if the decision I was ab to make would be the right thing.

****END OF FLASHBACK ***