The Soul's Voice

God

(First of all, no hate in the comment section. If you have a God or if you don't, I respect you. And believe me, I'm not saying that as a formality. My intention was not to offend anyone but if I did, I'm sorry. I tried not to use harsh, raw, unrefined language on such a sensitive topic but still- perspective. I'm still trying to figure out the ways of the world and people and Gods and everything so forgive me. Really, forgive me.)

I had a literature teacher once, who, like most literature teachers taught us to look at things from every possible perspective. Every facet. Every keyhole. And when we thought we'd run out of perspectives to look through, she'd tell us to create more.

She told us to read our mythology texts as pieces of literature. She taught us to read Gods as fictional characters regardless of what we were- thiest, agnostic, atheist because we were students of literature and had a duty towards it.

She was a staunch Hindu herself. I thought it peculiar and also found it a very wonderful thing to tell young children- it was kind of her way to say that no matter my belief, kids, I want you to find your own way like I did.

I was already too much of an agnostic by then, already too much of a confused little kid so it didn't affect my perspective as much but after what she said, I didn't fear what my teacher would think of my views. And that is a very important thing in a classroom.

We read Mahabharata that day and something magical happened. Our entire class- a curious assortment of hindus, muslims, christians, theists, atheists, agnostics, we all unanimously agreed on this- Dronacharya was a very shitty person.

The man who'd been drilled into our heads as The Guru, the ideal teacher ever since we started getting mythological references was turned into a person none of us could ever respect or look up to. We agreed he practiced caste-ism, favoritism, he was selfish. The man made a talented young boy cut off his thumb as fees.

"Monster," a girl beside me muttered so angrily I thought she'd kill someone.

And it all happened in one class. In one class.

It was so, so humbling to see that for all we convince ourselves that people can't change, it was a lie. People do change. A lot. We all just need good literature teachers.

I was so fascinated by that class, so mesmerized by it that I thought about the concept of God a lot then. Every theology, every religion in the world ended up on my search history by the end of that day.

And I understood this-

If God exists, I'm pretty sure s/he isn't exactly how we make s/he out to be.

Zeus. I mean, I'm kinda, sorta sure God would believe in monogamy and fidelity.

Shiva. Man, I'm really doubtful that God would have anger management issues.

God can't possibly have arrogance.

And my god, weapons! God can't waste her/his creativity on weapons.

I understood this-

For all perfect beings that we try to make out our Gods to be, we really don't. We just make them a mirror of us. Just a grander us. With twice the goodness. Twice the creativity. Then we grow to love them and feel loved in return. That is the good part. That is the part that stops the pendulum of my heart from swaying completely towards atheism.

And this is what doesn't let me entirely jump towards theism. This is the bad part- We create them with twice the anger. Twice the ego. And then we fear them. Like a little child who fears the monster under the bed that he made up inside his head.

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