They weren't even there yet and he was beginning to feel anxious. Each bump in the road they traveled over caused his heart to jump, stop beating briefly, then go on its merry way as if nothing had happened. He had the tendency to do this as well. Hell, it's how he ended up here in the first place; he'd yell and scream at them, stop for a brief moment, and then carry on as if what he had done never had any sort of impact on any of them. Of course, he didn't do it as much these days–the only person he ever had to yell at was himself, and that certainly has the tendency to grow old rather fast.
He remembered what happened the last time they had seen each other. It had been years and years ago, but unlike most other events, this one was fresh in Cedrik's memory. He remembered the way they both had looked at each other. He remembered the way neither of them said a word, the two of them instead staring at each other in silence until Christoffer finally decided to turn on his heel and walk out the door without ever bothering to look back. He remembered the way he felt like a part of him died; of course, it was right to feel that way. Christoffer's love for him died that day, as did his love for Christoffer.
No.
He mustn't think about that now.
Thinking about this sort of thing always made him angry. Angry at himself. Angry that he ever treated his husband that way. Angry that he ever treated his family that way. Angry that he couldn't simply go back in time and fix it all and allow none of it to ever happen.
"What if he doesn't want to see me?" He forced himself to think of something else.
"What do you mean by that?" The Swede asked, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.
"It's been years, Frederik. Him and I haven't seen each other since...you know..."
"Your point being?"
"...No offense Frederik, but it doesn't seem like what you said was true. He wouldn't miss me; he left. That was his choice. And then, after all of that, you two...you know.."
The younger man rolled his eyes."It'll be fine, Cedrik. What he and I had meant nothing to me then and it means nothing to me now. Stop stressing yourself over it. You'll give yourself another heart attack if you keep on doing that." Frederik said with a light chuckle. The Dane didn't find this as amusing.
"Haha. So funny, Frederik. Tell me, does your husband laugh at these jokes too, or is he laughing at your inability to perform in bed?"
"At least I'm not a virgin."
"At least I haven't got the genitals of a lady."
"Shut up."
Ah, yes. Friendly arguing–they hadn't been this casual around one another in a very long time. Somehow, though, they still managed to mock each other over the same things they did when they were kids. God, they had both changed so much since then. All of them had, really. It was as if they were completely different people.
In all fairness, though–it's been many centuries since they were that young. It would be ridiculous for them to stay the same forever.
"He lives really far out.." Cedrik pointed out to the other as the Swede drove, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. "How much longer until we get to his house?"
"Just another ten minutes or so."
"Are you sure? The only time I've been out this far was.." He began, only to stop himself upon realizing the circumstances. "I'm not going in there, Frederik. You can't make me."
"What do you mean?"
"I know where we're going. We're going to that damn asylum." Cedrik hissed, seeming more terrified than angry. "I'm not going in there. You can't make me. Why didn't you tell me he was in an asylum?!" He was starting to yell. "How long has he been there, Frederik?! Jesus Christ–What told you that lying to me was a good idea?!"
"I didn't technically lie, I just didn't tell you everything. So don't accuse me of lying to you, because that wasn't the situation. Besides, I didn't tell you because I knew you'd react like this. I knew you'd be pissed, and so I thought to leave well enough alone and not tell you." The Swede said with a shrug, jumping slightly as Cedrik began speaking again.
"HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN IN THERE, FREDERIK?!"
"Just a couple of years, Cedrik! It was for his own good! You weren't there for him, so why the hell do you all of a sudden care?!"
Yet again, both were silent. They were for the rest of the drive.
Once Frederik parked the car, he and Cedrik both got out, the Dane shoving his hands into the pocket of his coat as he buried the lower half of his face into the scarf loosely draped around his neck. He looked like a pouting child.
"It's just going to be for five minutes, okay? Calm down." The taller of the two huffed, grabbing the elder brother by the arm before leading him to the large doors of the asylum.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me. Seriously, Frederik...what the hell?"
"Oh, shut it. You were sick when he was sent here. You would've keeled over if I said anything."
"...Fair enough."
