Author Games: The Art of War

Jaune: Kim Chi Suk [@tiryme]

Name: Kim He Suck. Just kidding, it's Kim Chi Suk.

Age: 25

Sex: the male species of an anxiety issue vegetable

Sector: Jaune

Status: Chef-in-training

Appearance: Lettuce kid is so noticeable it's painful to watch him suffer as he tries to hide in a grave and fails. Standing at the unnatural height of six foot three and topped with a whipped cream shock of bright red hair, it's questionable what messed up gene pool he timidly sprung out from. He tries to disguise his height by hunching, and his eyes are oddly clear despite being half-scared whenever people extend an invitation of friendship to him. Just as you are about to bash his head in with a trash can like a salty narrator von psychiatrist by night, however, he will whip his pure child beam out of nowhere and make you feel like a terrible person who can't have good things. Sucks to you and your puppy face, Chi Suk.

Personality: NO TAKE MY RESEARCH I CAN'T DEAL WITH HOW PATHETIC HE IS *desperate catapulting sounds over shady piano bar noises*

Ahhh yes. It appears that my slothful, attention-deprived colleague has temporarily exploded into the cosmos, therefore I must read his notes for the sake of our reputation.

"Oh my cry. Doormats can walk all over him and they don't even have legs, double exclamation mark. Who on this sweet blessed tiny splotch of a planet wants to be less significant than a plant? Chi Suk almost forgets he exists, thinking too much about others and leaving no space in his brain for himself. He lets himself be kicked around because retaliation would make him a bother, oh my pulverised excuse of a life. Surprisingly, the carrot head showed signs of social abilities—apparently he notices everything and can accurately gauge a person's true feelings based on his observations. However, these skills are overshadowed by his self-consciousness—not because he wishes to be accepted, but because he is of the belief that he is an intrusion. He also frequently says odd things due to his observations, and when he realises that he is a freak of nature once again for it, he will burn in his personal blushing hell. 'Cru, cru, im dying and I demand cake'."

Role in Rebellion: Strategist. He knows the sectors like the back of his hand, from geography and culture to a suspicious label of "where to hide in case of unexpected meeting of overly friendly acquaintance".

Background: I'd rather stay dead in the cosmos than admit that the broccoli was human once, but it's true. It was his older brother who was out of whack. Verging on genius intellect, he ditched responsibilities and dragged the naive seven-year-old celery stick along with him, but all of that changed when the fire nation attacked. Just kidding, the water nation drowned him in an accident two years later. Instead of being traumatised like any respectable psychiatrist-paying kid would be, overly dependent parsley nerves developed the habit of asking himself what his brother would say whenever he faced the daunting task of making a decision. This has become so natural that he can have a conversation with his own subconscious without realising that it isn't his brother, and it's because of this that Chi Suk can find the answer to any logical problem.

Weapon of Choice: A crowbar, a frying pan, an armadillo—anything that happens to be lying around. (He'll apologise to the armadillo later.)

Token: A small bar of strawberry soap. Ask the head chef.