THE TITAN EXPERIMENT

CHAPTER 27 - Destination Unknown (Phoenix)

In the past, Phoenix had experienced times when work related stress kept his mind humming like a buzzing beehive. Like the times in bed, trying to block out Admiral Jax's verbal assaults on his manhood. A good example was the instance when he did a flyby of the lookout tower on the southern border to impress a certain female officer assigned to watch duty. It was stupid and immature, and he never did it again after the admiral chewed his tail out and grounded him for a month. The next offense would have been a year without his wings. That night, trying to sleep had been torture. He had squeezed his eyes shut and tried to switch off his hyperactive brain. It didn't work. He had stared at the back of his eyelids for hours, and when he fell asleep, he found himself in the throes of a turbulent realm where it became difficult to distinguish if he was awake or not. That state of semi-consciousness described his present condition accurately.

He felt trapped in purgatory—somewhere between the world of dreams and the world of the living. Even in sleep, he enjoyed no peace or solitude. He still couldn't tell if he was awake, or in a mild doze, semi-aware of his surroundings. In his swirling thoughts, he had this surreal feeling that Nova was still alive. But a heaviness settled on his chest, a sense of mourning that ached in the spot below his sternum, like an invisible hand twisted the center of his being. His subconscious mind had convinced himself he could still hold her as long as he stayed asleep. As long as he didn't wake up.

Then tires squealed on asphalt, and his eyes shot open with a start.

His head jostled with the movement of the plane, the rest of his body groping for balance while he tried to center his thoughts and get a grip on reality. Once he stabilized himself with a handhold on the cargo net behind him, he remembered where he was and how he got there. With a huff, he gathered himself and surveyed the interior of the aircraft. On each side of the fuselage, a pair of lights provided dim illumination. The oblong fixtures were auxiliary lights for moving about the plane while in flight. As for how long they had been in the air, he had no clue because he didn't know how long he'd been out. He would need to know that bit of important information for an accurate calculation. His best guess was several hours, but without windows, there was no light from outside to even know if the sun had risen.

Leaning back into the cargo net, he looked to his right and stared face to face with the auburn-haired woman. An inch away, her eyes opened from sleep, and then widened with shock. She pulled back and sat up... too close for comfort. Her appalled demeanor gave Phoenix a tiny fraction of amusement, and under normal circumstances he might have allowed himself a laugh or at least a smile. But the next thing he saw was the stub of his arm, which brought everything into focus, including a crystal-clear image of Nova's face.

Like glass, the picture in his mind cracked into fragments and blew away. Waves of agony and loss washed over him and racked his body with guilt. It was a reality he couldn't deny, nor had the willpower to accept. He felt trapped in a nightmarish scenario, one he couldn't escape.

He wanted to go back to sleep, to the place where Nova still lived. But he knew he had to face the truth, despite the pain. Sooner rather than later.

Phoenix choked back a sob and squashed the swelling urge to burst into tears. Even though Nova's death had only been days ago, there would be no more crying. He had to harden his resolve. He had to be done with the feelings of weakness because he couldn't mourn forever. What had been, had been. What would be, would be. He had to move on and he had to do it now.

Dr. Fairhaven stirred on the floor at his feet. She raised her head and scanned the plane's interior. Her blue eyes homed in on a soldier, his face still covered by the mask and visor.

Next to her, Callisto pushed up. His first sight... Phoenix. His lips straightened into a tight line and his gaze turned as hard as concrete. Yep, he still blamed Phoenix for Nova's death. Maybe he wished the shark had killed him, too?