Memories - kylo ren / ben solo

2

When we arrived to whatever planet that was the desired destination, Kylo finally left his room. I still sat on my knees in the same spot as ten minutes ago. No one really moved on the journey. I think they were all pretty bummed that they're planet blew up. But, inside that was the only good thing to me. I just hope that Han, Chewie, Rey, Finn, and all the other pilots escaped before it happened.

"Get up," Kylo ordered, I seeing his feet just in front of me.

I kept my head down and stood. A hand took ahold of my arm with a tight grip, leading me out of the newly open hatch and out to a hanger where other shuttles were unloading with soldiers and stormtroopers. I didn't look to who had my arm as they led me through the large room and into a small hallway that led to a bedroom with a gorgeous overview of the place we were at. It reminds me of Naboo, where I grew as a child.

The person let go of me and I took the opportunity to step out and look around. The cool air took me back to my childhood, when my parents were still here. I could still hear their voices laughing along with my childish antics.

"Why did you come?"

Kylo. He led me here.

I turned back around to face him, seeing him changed from his black robe into a different type of robe that was also black but hard to explain. His body was bandaged and his face held a large cloth going around his head to stop the bleeding of his cut.

"I had to see you."

I did. I'm not lying. The only reason I talked Leia into letting me go with Han and Finn was so that I could lay eyes on the man I lost so long ago.

"You've seen me before, why come back now?"

He sounded aggravated. But why? He knows how I feel about him.

"It's been years, Kylo. I missed you. I missed seeing you look at me, to have your arms wrapped around my waist. Come on, I'm a woman. I feel these things."

He took a stride towards me, avoiding the bed that was in his path. In this moment, I took him in. I looked at his darkened eyes, bags of sleepless nights underneath. His wounds showed no difference in him as his lightheartedness that I once knew was now gone. He is no longer Ben Solo.

"You shouldn't feel those things. You know it's a waste of time. Those kinds of feelings are meant for petty people like those you see below you."

"Love is not a waste of anyone's time. Not even a Sith's time. All you feel is anger, but you know deep down that peace and love are still in there."

"There is no room for love in a man like mine's heart." Sadness filled his voice, but anger and frustration laced themselves deeply in the words.

He stopped just in front of me and towered over me, looking down at me with his teary eyes. I put my hands on his chest to calm his breathing.

"There is always room for love. You just have to know how to let it in."

He stared at me for a moment, his breathing calmed. Then quickly turned away and took a step. It startled me.

"I can't! You're just testing me. You think you can lure me in with your profession of love, and that I'll come running back to you with open arms! Then you'll just tear me apart. I can't let you get to me!"

"What? I would never hurt you!"

He snapped his head back over and looked at me with crazed eyes. Mine held confusion.

"That's what you're telling me, but I know this trick. My grandmother and grandfather played this game. It's just a lie!"

I leaned against the railing that kept me from falling to my death. Did he really think that after all this time I would betray him like this?

"That's Snoke talking!" I snap. "You know good and well that I would never do anything to harm you!"

My shirt started to flow in the light breeze, brushing against my pants in a floppy manor. I paid no attention to it.

"Supreme Leader Snoke is the only one I can trust. He guides me in the ways of the Force like Luke never did!"

"Luke was the only good teacher you've ever had! He's one of the best Jedi there's ever been! Snoke just knows how to manipulate people into believing him and doing his work for him!"

Kylo huffed and walked back around to the other side of the bed, kicking it with his foot. Then he stood there and let the breeze run through his hair.

"Why haven't you changed your hair in all this time?" he asks, voice almost too low to hear.

I hinted at a smile. "No reason."

He turned around and rolled his eyes. "I know there's a reason. Tell me."

I sigh. "It reminded me of you. And don't ask me why, it's just you never gave me anything else."

"You've kept it that way since that day?" I nod. "Why?" I shrug.

"This was a new hairstyle for a new occasion. Since you've left me, there's been nothing else of worth for a new style."

I huffed and turned around to put my elbows onto the railing and lie my chin on my hand. I heard Kylo walk back over to me, I not giving him a second glance. We just stood there in silence. Not five minutes passed before I spoke.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, turning to him.

He stares off to the building across from us, not giving me a second of his attention. "It hurts, but I'm one of the leaders. I have to bare through it."

I put my hand on his arm, running a finger lightly across the bandage on his shoulder.

"You're not that person to me. You know you don't have to put up that facade."

He finally turned to me with tears brimming his eyes, still trying to so desperately get out.

"That facade is who I am now. What you think is real, isn't. That mask is me."

I dropped my hand. "Keep telling yourself that. I know otherwise."

He huffed and turned back to his previous stance. "You know nothing of me anymore."

I stepped away from him and walked into the bedroom. Tears threatened to come out; I could feel the lump in my throat growing. But I couldn't let him see me this way. He's already seen too many tears come from me all those years ago.

"I know enough."

I sat on the bed and looked to the ground. A single tear ran down my cheek and landed on the blue shaded floor with a silent splash.