Cross Mirage

Secrets (1)

Haruka

"H-Haru?"

Though shocked, the man is still able to function properly, unlike myself. He extends his hand forward to me. However, an inner sense of resentment stops me from accepting his aid. I reach out, only to hesitantly retract my hand back to my side.

"Haru?" Ji-Hong says again. "Is that really you?"

I bite my lip, frantically shaking my head, denying his question while also remaining in denial of the developing situation at hand. Crippled by the conflicting emotions of hopelessness within me, I can only lay on the ground, wishing that my tears will somehow protect me from Ji-Hong's imminent judgement.

Ji-Hong hesitates for a moment, but soon decides to go closer to me. The hulking man bends over, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you all right?" he asks again, this time more softly, almost to a whisper.

Through my sobbing, I manage to force myself to give him a nod. Ji-Hong breathes a sigh of relief. We lay on the ground for a little while longer. Once I'm ready, Ji-Hong helps me back onto my feet without a word of complaint.

"Do you need me to walk home with you?" Ji-Hong asks, taking my hand and guiding me out of the alleyway. "I've called the police. You don't have to worry too much about them anymore."

His persistent acts of concern is heart-warming. Maybe it's a result of my unexpected vulnerability, but suddenly, I'm not afraid of him finding out about my true identity anymore. Suddenly, I feel like he's the most reliable person in the world. Suddenly, he doesn't seem as scary as I thought he was.

"You..." I swallow. "You know me, don't you?"

I peer over to scan the Korean's face. Only his eyes reveal the soft emotions that he's hiding beneath that permanent stoic expression of his. After a brief moment of contemplation, he wordlessly nods at my question.

"I see."

We put ourselves some distance from the scene of the crime, neither of us able to find the right words to thaw the barrier of awkwardness between us. Furthermore, I'm still quite shaken from what happened back in the alley. After some time though, I'm finally able to speak to him again.

"Ji-Hong," I say, my voice sounding a little more timid than I'd have liked. "Thank you for saving me back there. I... I mean, it's a little strange but... if it hadn't been for you, I'd have..."

Ji-Hong nods, understanding my point.

"Do you... uh..." My saviour rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "Do you dress like this often?"

"Sometimes," I answer, sharing his unease for the topic. "Look, I know it's a little too much to ask but I just―"

This time, shame is the emotion inhibiting my speech. My partner however, patiently waits for me to continue. I'm really grateful for that.

"It's just... very important to me if you would keep this as a secret between us. The incident today, and me... dressing up as a girl." I give myself a reassuring self-hug, worried about what's going to come next. "I know you're probably thinking that I'm some kind of pervert for dressing up like this, or you just think I'm gross. If you think badly of me, it's all right; I understand. I don't blame you but please, don't tell this to anyone. I'm pleading with you."

Ji-Hong muses to himself for a moment.

"Okay," he says. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

Hearing that, I can feel myself relaxing a little. Something tells me that Ji-Hong is a person that I can trust to keep his word. I'm not a hundred percent sure about that, but the odds feel good enough for me.