Spirk Oneshots

What Came After

A/N
Hey guys! So this is the first one-shot that I've written in quite a while. This one is set right after the 2009 reboot and Spock & Uhura weren't a thing.

I hope you like it :)

Jim ran a hand through his messy hair, staring at his reflection numbly.

In reality, Nero's attack had only lasted a few hours at most, but Jim felt like they had been fighting for years.

He felt older, and the dull blue eyes staring back at him didn't feel like his eyes anymore.

The weight of Vulcan's destruction hung heavily over the entire crew. At first, when Pike took control of the ship again and set a course back to earth on impulse power only, Jim had spent hours walking around the ship and trying to comfort the people that he passed.

He had hoped that being around other people who had also experienced the attack would ease his pain, but everywhere he went the whispers followed.

He wasn't the soldier that fought alongside the crew like everyone else, no, he was the cadet that took control of the situation and saved Earth from sharing Vulcans fate.

Everywhere he went conversations stopped and people stared at him in awe, muttering among themselves quietly and scurrying out of his way.

So he had retreated to the quarters that Pike had given him to grieve alone.

Staring into the mirror he wished that he could talk to someone who would treat him like before, but Chris was busy being Captain and Bones was in medical caring for at least a dozen injured Vulcans.

Jim's eyes closed and he sagged against the sink as he thought about one Vulcan in particular.

He forced them open again and pushed the collar of his shirt down, wincing at the violent purple bruises around his neck.

He deserved them, and so much more.

It physically hurt him to think about how horrible he had been to Spock, who was only trying to do what he thought was the right thing.

He had hurt the Vulcan so much that Spock had to resort to physical violence to make him stop.

He had goaded him about his mother only an hour or so after her death, not to mention the destruction of his planet and the death of billions of his people.

Spock was hurting so much, and Jim made him lose control, god he had made it so much worse.

He was torn between being glad that he hadn't seen the Vulcan since they rescued Pike, and wishing that he had so that he would have had a chance to apologise for his cruel words.

Jim let his eyes close again as he breathed deeply, trying to quell the despair rising within him.

He should have done more to prevent the destruction of Vulcan, he should have warned Pike earlier, he should have disabled the drill faster - he should have something.

Jim pushed away from the sink suddenly, his eyes flying open as he stalked back into the main area, pacing back and forth in anger.

Nero had no right, nobody had the right to end that many lives, to cause that much pain.

He was pulled out of his murderous thoughts by an unexpected chime, letting him know that someone was at his door.

He puffed out a breath and granted them entry, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose while he waited for them to enter.

He heard the familiar whoosh of the door opening and closing again, but his unidentified visitor didn't speak.

He finally opened his eyes and saw the absolute last person that he would expect to come and see him.