The Company of Myself.

The Company of Myself - Chapter 10

"Pass the stuffing over." I reluctantly grabbed the bowl of stuffing and handed it to my dad, who sat at the head of the table. Mum sat across from him, Dawn and Jonah across from me, and I sat alone; on the last side of the long table. Jonah carved another piece of turkey, putting it on my plate. I thanked him and dug in, starving.

"Well, isn't this nice?" I looked up briefly to my mom. "Thanksgiving dinner. With the family." We all exchanged small talk, agreeing to her comment. Thanksgiving Day. The 23th. Beautiful. Or at least in my parents' minds. This had been the first Thanksgivings I had spent with them in the past two or three years, taken that I refused to sit at a table with Jonah. It was still uncomfortable sitting there, as Jonah carved our turkey, and fit so well into the family. He even looked well that day. While my father had forced me into a dress shirt and tie, Jonah had somehow pulled off the look easily. He looked tight, nipped, and clean. He matched Dawn, something I expected of them.

"Dad, did you hear Jonah's new song he wrote last night?" Dawn asked happily.

"It was wonderful, Jonah. Sent me to sleep last night. In the good way." The four of them continued to talk of their upcoming events and the wedding, going over what was finished and what wasn't. For the most part, I stayed out of the conversation. It got confusing at times, talking of fittings and arrangments, and I honestly couldn't take it.

 I just sat there, deep in thought about Lix and Jas, eating the food my mother and Dawn had cooked us. We were thirty minutes into our dinner when someone finally decided to acknowledge my existence.

"So Quinn, what're you doing this Saturday?" my dad asked, not bothering to look at me. I paused before replying, careful with my words. "I have a trip with my 'collegues' from the newspaper 'club.' It's an entire day trip, remember? You signed the papers?" Lix had somehow managed to fish out an old permission slip due seven years ago for me to use as my alibi. Thanks to photoshop, it looked believable enough to pass both Dawn and my father's eyes.

"Oh right. I forgot about that. You're leaving...?"

"Ten in the morning, and I'll be back by seven on Sunday."

"Remember to call us when you get to the hotel." My mother instructed, cutting through her greens.

"Don't worry mom. I won't forget."

***

"Quinn! Glad you could make it!" I gave Lydia a quick hug and she handed me a yard glass, holding her own. "You can fill it in the living room!" She yelled. Even if she yelled, it was difficult to hear her over the hardcore party-goers. Her long cotton candy-colored hair fell to her waist, and the outfit she wore would put her parents to shame.

I still don't remember why I took her out on a few dates back in junior year. She was still the same person, but nowadays, she seemed a little too wild.

I handed her back the yard glass in turn for a Pilsner glass. She called me "safe." and then turned back around to suck her girlfriend's face; a sight that was entertaining to watch.

This rager of hers turned out a lot bigger than I had expected. It was at least twice the size of Katie's party, and the music was deafening. It wasn't even midnight yet, and people were throwing up on the floors. It was absolute madness, and the only place to escape to was upstairs or in the basement. But for some reason, I didn't mind it. I didn't mind the music that nearly screeched into my ears. I didn't mind the dozens of people shoving into me and looking as high and wasted as ever. I didn't even mind the occasional drug and lap dance offers. I hate to admit it, but I kind of missed parties like this. Parties were you drank as much liqueur as you could, forgot about the world, and didn't care if you ended up in a car crash the next day. It was dangerous, sure, but it let you let go for a second.  It was like going to Wonderland. You ate a few things, drank a few things, and then everything started to turn into different sizes and shapes. You saw weird things if you did too much, and eventually, you'd come across a hookah. It was simple to do. Just to let go of you worries and stresses, and do whatever you wanted.