The Company of Myself.

The Company of Myself - Chapter 4

Chocolate. Cinnamon. An overall sugary smell. I stomped into my room, hoping that the overpowering smell of cookies coming from Dawn’s batch of baked goods would block out the smell of alcohol. I closed my door and placed my backpack by it. It was already ten, and my parents had headed to bed before us ‘kids’ of the house. I grabbed the bottle of vodka from my backpack and unscrewed the top. Lucie. Thank god that she had this with her. I just needed to drink my worries away. I needed to stop thinking about my grades, my future, the wedding, my friends and my horrible day. I just needed to let it wash away with a bottle of sweet, sweet alcohol.  I leaned my head back and then tipped the bottle along with me…

“Quinn?” I choked on the drink as I jolted my head forward. Jonah stood at the doorway, staring at me. He was in a bad position. Catching his future younger brother drinking. Underage. I quickly stashed the bottle behind me, trying to keep it from his view and wiped my mouth with my sleeve.

“Y-Yeah?” I nervously replied.

“Just thought I could come it.” He ambled into my crowded room, moving my bottle of vodka to the side so he could sit next to me. So much for trying to hide it from him. Looked like he didn’t care if I was drinking or not.

“Well, actually, I came here to ask you a question about Dawn. And then,” He took a drink from the bottle and handed it back to me, letting out a sharp breath as he did, “I saw this. Couldn’t help myself, quite honestly.” He flashed his perfect white teeth at me and snatched the bottle back to drink more. After another long gulp, he asked me, “So how was your first day with Pandora? You like her?” I scoffed and brought the bottle to my lips. “She probably hates me.” I said in between sips.

“Nah. Pandora doesn’t hate anyone. Aside from her ex-boyfriends.”

“No, seriously. She was friendly to practically everyone today, besides me. It’s like I have a curse on me or something. Like, I’m invisible to her.” I handed the drink back to him and let out a sigh. One drunken night with my sister’s fiancé wasn’t that bad, was it? This bottle would last us the night. It was large enough.

“Maybe you look like one of her exes.” He placed his hands on my face and began to move the skin around my eyes and mouth, making my face smaller or flatter. He laughed at some point and then nodded.

“Yeah-Yeah… One of them. Way back. You probably bring back bad memories or something.” That was reassuring. To know that the girl you were supposed to be close to was the one girl who probably despised you because of her own personal affairs. It was as if my very existence was destined to be hated. Most of the school only used me for my access to the school newspaper anyways. If it weren’t for knowing every single conversation, whisper, rumor, and secret  in the halls of Travelle Academy, I’d be nobody. It was how life worked. People used you if they could benefit from you.

“She’ll get to you. …Eventually. The thing is, she has to know everyone, and everyone has to know her. She has to be the best. She has to be known. It’s what keeps her alive.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked. Jonah paused, and then gave me a different look. It wasn’t exactly content, but it wasn’t disappointed or worried. It was the in-between. The middle.

“Just- Never mind. Just give me the rest of this, and I won’t tell your mum or Dawn that you’ve been drinking. …Or smoking for that matter.” I look at him confused, trying to hide the truth.

“Haha, don’t even try kid. Smelled it on your shit when I walked in.” He gave me a little grin and walked out of the door; like a normal person. I was getting insane. Jonah was actually nice. I was almost enjoying Jonah’s company. This was bad. Very bad.