Last Christmas (Book 1 in the Christmas Series)

Chapter Three

Honestly, I had expected papa to yell at me, tell me that I shouldn't go, that I had no right to abandon the family, or whatever. Only he didn't. Papa just ran his fingers through his beard, stared at me and then nodded his head before leaving the room completely without so much as a word. Papa had never been one to keep quiet, he always expressed his opinions, even when they weren't necessary. For him to keep quite like that was pretty alarming, if not extremely alarming.

In the days since my announcement, mama had tried to talk me out of going. She had used every single trick in the book, but I wasn't going to change my mind that easily. No one understood just why I had to leave, they all thought I was abandoning the family like I could have stayed but I was leaving because I was being selfish. The truth was the complete opposite. None of them understood what it felt like to be the odd one out, to have a purpose. If they understood, then I wouldn't need to go away, but they didn't and I did.

With my stuff packed and me more ready than ever to begin a brand new adventure in my life, I knew it was time to go. Papa said that it was up to me when I left and I had delayed enough as it was in packing. Starting my new life as a normal teenager was going to be a great experience and help me decide more about my future, my life when Nick takes over and I'm left with nothing. Finally, I was going to find out where I truly belonged.

"You all packed?" Mama asked, suddenly appearing in my doorway like a shadow, soundless.

"Yeah, I think," I replied, furrowing my eyebrows together. Knowing me, I had left something hidden under my bed or under a loose floorboard, but if they were hidden it was unlikely I would ever need it. Still, I did a quick standing glance around my room, making sure there was nothing obvious that I had missed.

"Good, let's get this stuff downstairs." Mama smiled and grabbed the box closest to her whilst I battled with my two suitcases, heaving them downstairs. They bounced off the bannisters and even the walls, leaving dents and marks all the way down. Not a positive note to leave on I must admit.

Still, between mama and I, we managed to carry everything down to the living room, stacking it up as we went. Boxes were balancing precariously on top of each other whilst two bin bags and my suitcases stood on their own away from the chaos of stacked boxes. By the time we were finished, my arms ached and I had sweat plastering my hair to my forehead and the back of my neck. Mama looked as though the effort or carrying everything unfazed her, she wasn't even sweating. Either she had some kind of magic going on, or I was really unfit. Hopefully, it was the former.

"Right, looks like you're all ready to go!" mama said, her voice sounding both enthusiastic and a little upset.

"Yeah, looks like it," I said, brushing the hair off my forehead with the back of my hand. I knew mama was likely to get emotional about me leaving, but I knew I couldn't let it get to me. If it did, there was no way I would be leaving, I'd probably just stay at home and be miserable for the rest of my life. Mama had that effect on people.

"I wish you weren't going, Kenzie. I know your Father can be tough at times, but I'm sure he'll come around," mama said, trying to change my mind.

"He won't, he never does. Papa is a stickler for tradition, even if does break it and hope no one notices. You can beg him to change his mind, but it'll never happen. I need this. I need to find out where I belong because right now, it feels like I don't belong anywhere."

"You know, there is a reason I didn't tell you the story. I hoped that you would find a way to change your Father's mind without having to leave. I was holding onto the belief that I wouldn't have to say goodbye to you, not yet anyway. You see, the people who go on these little excursions don't make a habit of coming back. I just couldn't bear to loose you Kenzie, you're my daughter after all," mama said, trying to blink back the tears that fell silently down her cheek.