N i n e t e e n

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Harry

Later at night

I was now placing Louis on the seat near me as the Horan's were all ready to dig in . I decided to stay after dinner to discuss something's with Niall. Okay , he let me stay until after dinner to discuss whatever I wanted with him . He was pretty tired which I understand , working from morning till evening can make you want to just plop down and be dead to the world.

I decided by the time he arrived that I am not going to talk about his babies , he is working hard as it is and in the circumstances he got nanny I assume he wanted one desperately . I don't want to add to his burden as I think it is not that much of serious issue if dealt at perfect time . But it will not take time for it to turn into a serious one.

As far as my paycheck is concerned I have decided not to ask for it. I know , I have to get paycheck unless I want to explore the true meaning of living hell but then again my life is pretty much exists in the hell so that will not matter. I have this sense or desire if you may; to make Niall happy and help him in any way possible.

I don't like human interaction , it is very uncomfortable for me to be in presence of another human being no matter what gender or race. And I think it is because of my lonely life , the one I live being isolated. The only human interaction and touch I ever had is my father and it was not pleasurable as I didn't at all felt safe . That is the sole reason , I am reserved and easily get intimidated by person two foot away from me . That is a true curse for me and has always bothered me .

But when I am in the presence of Niall , when I am in a two foot distance from him or even at his place it doesn't bother me . I don't feel anxious or intermediate. I was so confused at first that I used to get shivers but now I realised the shivers , the nerves and the heat in my cheeks are definitely not because of me feeling intermediated or unsafe . I really don't know the prime reason for this - occurrences , but one thing I know for sure , that I feel to my core when Niall talks to me , when he gives me that beautiful smile of his . Because his smile is beautiful and calm and other worldly which let's me know that everything is right in the world , that everything in the end will be okay . And I believe that , I do because his doesn't have that easy either , he is also struggling like every other human on this planet , like me
. And I know for a fact that our struggles are different , the cause of her struggles , the degrees of her fight and the nature , everything is different but still same. And when he smiles at me , talks to me and treats me like a normal person ,not as if i am an insult to the world , that i am a curse and a mistake , that my existence should be shamed upon on .But rather I am angel who came in his time of need , that he feels gratitude towards me as he thanks me every night before closing his front door on me .And I feel like I have a reason to breathe in this world , a reason to fight for myself and a reason to wake up everyday and deal with my hell .

And maybe Niall is not the reason or maybe he is the reason , I don't know , I have yet to decode . yet to think about it and wonder about. But right now at this point of time , when I cleaning dishes as Niall puts Louis and Liam on the bed done for the night. As he stumbles down and grabs wine , as he is wearing a loose sweat pant and shirt , as he gathers two glasses and sits them on the table in the living room I am sure that maybe me coming in their life was meant to be , maybe me helping his children was written in our fates.

And I can't stop the smile forming on my lips , the calm beating of my heart and the focus I feel to do something as if on mission when I bring the papers to him and sit by his side.

"Have some wine Harry "

"S-sure "

"You are stuttering , are my kids okay? Did something happen ?" His posture changes from lazy to alert and I am so fond of the love he has for his babies.

"Eve-evrything is fine Niall.All good " I gulp as I know I am lying through my teeth and although there is nothing serious but there is still the impending issue and till it is not resolved it is going to be something he as a parent should be concerned about , should know about.

He nods at my answer believing me and I want to tell my concerns to him , I have this sudden urge to discuss all the information I gathered from the net , what I think is 'wrong' with the boys and their growth abilities but I don't , I am not going to add to his tensions.

"So what is it you wanted to talk about ?"

"Umm...actually , I ...these ." I give him a paper with a list I made this afternoon .

"We don't have this at home . And if its not a problem , we...you can buy this ." Niall scans the list biting his lowed lip , my eyes travel and catch the small yet sensual movement before going back to his eyes.

"We ?" He questions with an amused expression and I fluster going back to my words .

"Okay . We will go but not tomorrow , I have weekend off so we can ...umm , maybe go on little grocery shopping this Saturday . " I hesitate as he uses we instead of 'me' but nod nonetheless .

He notices my sudden hesitation and his next words gives me an idea that he must have guessed my thoughts.

"You Harry are coming with us because I don't know half of the things you listed here .." He takes a pause waving the sheet at me before continuing "and even if I did I will accidentally buy something else. So , the real question is are you busy this Saturday ?"

I shake my head almost instantly making him chuckle and I smile at the lovely sound I just heard. I could hear this for the rest of my life ......okay I am getting ahead of myself .

I cough before speaking " Yes , I would like to" he then hands me the paper cheerfully .

"So its done . We are going grocery shopping baby .And on that note , I would like to meet you my best friend"

I quirk my eyebrow why would he want me to meet his friend , I mean do people introduce their nannies or something . My confusion is answered and I am in shock at how Niall seems to always guess what I am thinking .

"My best friend wants to meet the new nanny and so I called him for dinner .You will be staying for dinner?" He asks innocently and I couldn't help but blush and giggle. Oh god he needs to stop being cute ...no no I want him to always be cute .

"Ya sure , I mean , I wouldn't mind." He nods his head and we resume talking as I explain him all the things on the list.

I am already feeling accomplished .

***

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