A1: The Don (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Ten

I pulled a couple thousand worth of hundreds out of my wallet and offered it to the lady. She protested and even attempted to spit on me. "I know this isn't going to replace him, but I know he'd want you to have this. So, please, just take it."

The lady slowly stood up to her feet and snatched the money away from me. "You're a monster."

I didn't kill Ted and I wasn't present when everything went down, but having a lady tell me I was a monster and yell at me for killing her son really hit me. That was the downfall of being a gangster. The heartbreak, the murders and the guilt can get overwhelming. They say it'll go away after some time and you'll become an absolute emotionless robot killing machine, but I didn't see how.

I ended up at Delaney's door. She answered and by the look on her face, she was surprised to see me. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was dressed leisurely. It was obvious that something was wrong with me. I tried my best to smile at her and she grabbed my hands and pulled me inside without a word. We went into her room and sat on the bed. I laid back on it and covered my face with my hands. A few hot tears fell down my cheeks. Delaney laid beside me and snuggled into me. We laid there in silence for a long while as I silently cried.

When I was finally done, I wiped my face with my hands and cleared my throat. "I'm sorry," I told her. My voice was raw and strained. "I don't know why but coming here was the only thing on my mind. It was stupid of me to just come here, cry and ruin your day," I said as I sat up.

Delaney sat up as well and placed her hand on my back. She rubbed my back soothingly as she looked at me with worry. "You can come here anytime. Don't be sorry. You didn't ruin my day. I was watching repeats of the Kardashians all day. That's way sadder than your crying," she joked lightheartedly.

I laughed and looked at her. "That was better than my day."

"What happened?"

"A guy that died during the brawl last week, his mom came and asked where he was. She didn't know he was dead. I had to break it to her. She kept hitting me. She told me that I killed her baby a million times. She called me a monster, and I don't know. It just hit home. Every once in a while, sh-t like that gets to me. I wish I was one of those emotionless freaks but I'm not." Delaney stopped rubbing my back and instead she took my hand.

"You're not a monster, Andy. You had nothing to do with that guy's death. His mother was just distraught."

"How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm not a monster." Delaney pursed her lips. She didn't know what to say and she didn't have to say anything. "I've done bad things, Delaney. I was 16. My ex broke up with me because I was cheating on her. I got mad and burnt down her house. I was in a bad mood. This prick cut me off. I followed him home and shot him in the head. I killed a guy right in front of his wife and kids because he owed the family money. I went to a funeral of a man I killed just to spit on his grave. That's just a small portion of the f-cked up sh-t I've done. You may think you know me but you don't. I'm cool now, but Delaney I have a temper. There's no telling what I'll do. I get angry sometimes. I get worked up. I go blank, things happen. I'm way better than I used to be, but it can get bad."

Delaney didn't bat an eye at me. She kept holding my hand as if she didn't hear the words that came out of my mouth. I expected her to start pushing me out the door or calling me a monster herself. "Why are you telling me this?"

"To warn you. I really like you, but I don't want to go further and get your hopes up because you think I'm someone that I'm not. I can be so f-cking good to you but I can be bad too. I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into if we go any further."