Ten

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I sit on the counter of the kitchen, watching jace make sandwiches.

"I can make my own food, you know"
"I'm almost done. Plus, I make the best sandwiches of the shadowworld" he joked, walking over to me, plates in hand.

"So," jace hands me a plate, sitting on the counter next to me "you gonna tell me what really happened out there?"
"What do you mean?"
"We both know that you're not just hungry, Raz. Something's going on. Everyone can tell. You looked like you saw a ghost down there. Plus when you're hungry you get mean"

"I'm fine" I shrugged. It not like I was about to say 'oh, yeah, I'm hearing voices in my head, singing to me about the moonlight, and it feels like my brains are melting, but it's alright'

"You, my dear friend, are a really bad liar"
"Look, jace, I'm fine. What about you? How are you holding up?" I change the subject.
"Me? What could possibly be wrong with with this?" He gestured to his face.
"Alec" my Voice was soft, this made Jace's face fall, but he then brings his walls up.

"What about him?" There's no emotion in his voice.
"Your bond is weakening, isn't it?"

"Hey we're ready, izzy says she nee- oh. Am I interrupting something?" Clary barged through the door, making me pull away from jace, taking notice of how close our faces were.
"No" jace jumps off the counter "you're looking badass"
"Thank you" clary gives a joking spin, while I just look down at my full plate. I'm Getting sick of all the flirting.

"Anyway, what did you need?" I ask, sliding off the counter, putting my plate down a bit to hard, making it brake against the counter.

The two just look at me, shocked at my sudden mood swing.
"Well? Clary?" I snapped
"Oh. Izzy wanted to see you in her room"
"Fine" I stomp off  to izzy's room, slightly bumping Jace's shoulder on my way past.

"Whoa, what's got you in a mood?" Iz looks at me, surprised as I storm in

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"Whoa, what's got you in a mood?" Iz looks at me, surprised as I storm in.
"Iz, what are we doing with our lives" I sat on her pink bed, putting my face in my hands.
"What do you mean?" She sat next to me
" we train, we kill demons. That's it. Everyday"
"We're shadowhunters. It's what we do. It's who we are"
"Yeah, but I mean, what about fun? And friendship? And love? We don't get to fall in love. I mean, half of us don't even get to raise our children, we die before we can see what our child will become"

I could feel myself braking inside. Coming up is one of the days I hate most. The day that reminds me that my parents will never see what I have become. Who I came to be.

"Bex, is this about-?" Her arms were around me now, my head on her shoulder.
"No! Yes? Maybe? I guess?. I mean, I will never hear them say that I became what they wanted. That they are proud to call me their daughter"
"Well, maybe not, but, they'd be proud. I know I'm proud to call you my parabatai"
"I love you too, iz"
"Come on. Let's get you dressed"

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