Beatles REACT

REACT Snippet: Sweatshirt (Jacob Sartorious)

*sighs* I see it, George.

George: "Is this what popular music has come to? Attacking people with items of clothing?" *pauses* "Hang on. Sudden revelation. Maybe his sweatshirt is like, "No, no. I can't handle the autotune anymore. F**k this sh*t, I'm out." Then it just goes on a rampage and leaves."

You're really not a fan of pop music, are you, Geo?

George: "How could you tell?"

Anything else you'd like to add before we finish watching the clip?

George: "Yeah. Where's the girl Mr Sartorious is singing about?"

What the - She's right there!

George: "That can't be her. I mean, Jacob clearly said, "chilling with her hairtie, no makeup and some sweatpants on". That girl hasn't got her hair tied back at all - I can't even see a bloody hairtie on her wrist! No sweatpants either, just some overalls from Hot Topic. As for makeup, well... let's just say that this girl has got more makeup on than David Bowie did in the Life on Mars? music video!"

... I see your point.

George: "There! Told you it was all silly nonsense. Dancing sweatshirts and all that."

Says the guy who brought in a huge plastic bird as a prop in his music video.

George: "... shut up, you twozzit."

Reactions at the end of the video:

George: "Ooh, he's offering her the sweatshirt! Go on, girlie, take it! You better be prepared to send him nudes otherwise he'll dump you... because that's what the sick kids of this generation do."

Yeesh, Geo! Calm your tits! I'm a kid of this generation and I'm not sick.

George: "Your fanfiction says otherwise, you cheeky minx."

... shut up. Still, be nice! Jacob's only a little kid!

George: "Yeah, exactly. He's a kid, and that's what he should stay as for a little while longer. I know I sound mean but I actually feel quite sorry for the little tyke. Jacob's probably surrounded by grownups all the time, telling him what to do and how to act. How often do you think he gets to be around kids his own age without being completely pulverized?"

Fair point, I suppose.

George: "I say he should lay off the music career for a little while, just until he's well and truly ready for the terror of fame. Jacob is still a child - he should go back to doing child-appropriate things. Not singing about sweatshirts and doing uninterested dance moves."

Well said, Georgie. Well said.

George: "Thank you, mere pyaare."

Verdict?

George: "Well, it wasn't bad for a first single - especially for someone as young as Mr Sartorious. I mean, it's not for me because... well... I'm a seventy-something year old man." *laughs* "I'm not into this fangirly pop genre; I prefer rock and other stuff."

I feel the same way, but that some is my (extremely) guilty pleasure.

George: "Oh yeah, I mean it was good for young Jacob, but I'm not going to sit around for hours with my finger hovering over the replay button. I'm not one of those twelve year old fangirls. I'm just an old fart who shuns the younger generation!" *cracks up*

What about the video itself?

George: "The classroom setting was about as original as a Spiderman movie - it's been done a million times before and rehashing it isn't going to make it better. I know Jacob is still in school - he's thirteen, for Chrissake - but it was a bit cliche for my liking."

How about the part with the sentient sweatshirt?

George: "That was bloody terrifying. I'll never wear a sweatshirt or any kind of jumper again."

Final thoughts on Jacob himself?

George: "Stick to being a child while you can, buddy. You seem like a sweet, wholesome kid and it would be a shame to see you torn down by the pressure of fame. Just... just stay a fetus for a little while longer, that's all I ask. Work on the choreography a bit, too."

Anything to say to the readers who wanted you to react to Sweatshirt?

George: "Well, I'm a bit more educated on youth culture, so that's always nice. The pop stars are getting younger and younger, aren't they? Mark my words, preteen girls will be worshipping a singing sperm at this rate."

That's really weird, George.

George: *grins* "That's what I specialise in, honey."

(Thanks to Mrs_liv_479 for suggesting this chapter!)

(George awards Sandwich Points to... AndILoveJohn! Congratulations!)

(Next time on Beatles REACT: I feel like I owe you guys another fanfiction chapter... so I'll be doing just that after Johnny's special birthday chapter! I've selected the finest fanfics from some of my favourite writers: arctic_beatles, weed4classicrock, You-You-You, and many more! Maybe I'll include one of my own fics - let me know which one I should pick! Strap in and hold onto your hats; it's going to be one heck of an emotional rollercoaster.)