BTS AMBW - BLUE YOONGI

Jealous

"Are you serious?? Get out of my business right now!" my boss yelled at me after my shift.

"I'm sorry sir," I say tears filling my eyes.

"This is why I don't hire fuckin teenagers, you think this is Mcdonalds? This a 4 star restaurant. How dare you disrespect me?"
"I never intended-"

"Don't show your face here ever again," he bellows and I quickly leave. I ride my bike all the way back home with tears streaming down my face. How am I going to live? Working at Mcdonalds? That won't cut the rent. I was lucky enough to get such high pay at that fancy restaurant, now what was I going to do? Where will we live? I hurry home and run to my mom.

"Did you bring back food?" she asks smoking on a cigarette.

"Mom..I got fired. What are we going to do?" I ask.

"Go out and get me something to eat," she says turning toward the tv which was playing nothing but static. I stare at her in awe for a moment wondering if she even heard me.

"Mom, we have no money to pay rent after this month," I explain to her. She didn't seem drunk right now, she should be able to comprehend me.

"So?" she asks.

"What do you mean so?" I yell in disbelief at this woman I called a mother. She just shrugs and reaches for her wine glass but I rip it away, "You know what here," I throw it on the ground shattering it, "Why should I fight for someone's life when that person has already given up? You have the responsibility of a mother but it's like that's beyond you. I can't even call you selfish since you don't care about yourself either. I don't know my purpose here anymore then. I won't choose to let anything hold me back in life and I'm sorry mom. But you're holding me back. I have to live my life...I'm sorry," I say walking away to pack my bags. She just starts screaming like a banshee and I hurry and pack my bags before she does something crazy. All I could think about was Yoongi and I felt terrible. Would I just be a burden if I showed up at his door? He already has so many problems of his own and I don't want to put anything him. I thought of Jimin next and I head to his house. I tried dragging my bike along with my huge bags of clothes but I just got frustrated. I threw it on the ground and thought someone less fortunate than me would run across it and take it. By the time I got to Jimin's house it was pitch black outside and my tears were all dried. I knocked on his door weakly since I barely had anymore energy. Luckily Jimin opens the door and looks at me wide eyed.

"Ciara...what.." he doesn't even ask. He pulls me in and looks at my face, "What do you need?" he asks. Someone to love me was the first thing I thought, wow I never had a thought like that, so blunt, and so clear in what was broken in me. I just decided to hold my arms out and Jimin immediately hugged me. I took a deep breath not having much more energy to cry even though it was overwhelming to be hugging him with all these emotions.
"Jimin, can I please stay with you just for tonight?"

"Stay as long as you need," he assures me. He takes me to the bathroom and wipes my face caringly and I couldn't understand how he was so sweet. He had such a big heart and so much love to give. I wanted to be able to do that too.

"Thank you so much," I tell him.

"This is what friends do," he says. He takes me to his bed and lays me down.

"I don't want to take your-"

"No I'll sleep on the couch you stay here," he says. Last time I stayed over we both fell asleep on the couch, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I just nod and he turns the light out leaving me in the darkness with my thoughts. I shut my eyes trying to force sleep but it was as if I kept reliving something that I didn't want to remember. I didn't know what it was and I didn't know who I was or what I was turning into anymore. Tomorrow is Friday I thought to myself, everything is good on Fridays. I woke up quickly, it felt like I only slept for maybe 20 minutes. I hurried downstairs to see Jimin was already dressed to leave.