We Watched the City Burn

Chapter 13

Stars. Ever since I was a little kid, I've loved stars. Long story. But I wanted to have these adventures, rescue princesses and save the day on some far away world were I wasn't so boring and plain. Basic boyhood dreams, I guess.

I passed the pad to Aurora, chewing on the pen while I waited for her reply. I was worried that she thought I'd written too little, but when she looked up at the ceiling, chewing on her lio, I could feel a flood of words coming, building up in her, ready to be unleashed.

"Stars, huh? Nebulas, Milky Way, all that? Interesting. That's deep, Matthew. Quite deep," Aurora nodded, pushing the pad back too me, sipping her coffee while she debated over what her next question would be.

I wasn't nervous, not at all, as more and more time passed, I felt more at ease here in this warm, quite diner. I glanced at the clock that hung on the wall right in front of us, 8:45pm. I worried that Aurora might have a horrifyingly early curfew, but then I remembered what she said about how she'd escaped. If she was escaping, it was unlikely that she would honor curfew rules.

 "Next Question: Why haven't I noticed you before?" she downed the rest of her cup, then bellowed for Peach Lips. She was actually quite loud, surprisingly. 

I tapped my pen against the paper, the obvious answer being that she had just recently transfered, but she already knew that. I scribbed out a simple sentence in reply:

I try not to be noticed.

Aurora read this, curling up her lips. "Why would you want to hide, Matt? You seem like a perfectly nice guy to me, and about a thousand times cooler than anyone else I've run into in this drab place."

I have my reasons.

"I'm sure you do, Matthew, I'm sure you do. I don't get to know what they are yet, do I?" She smiled at me, already knowing the answer before she asked the question. I couldn't help but smile back.

Nope, sorry. Policy and all that.

Aurora spun in her chair, pondering the situation, and probably trying to figure out what would be the best way to get my secrets out of me. If she tried hard enough, I had a feeling that I'd spill my guts to her. Just not yet. She was smart, witty and a great talker, but you could say that about almost anyone.

 "Well, perhaps tomorrow night, then." She wiggled her brows at me, making me chuckle. 

Tomorrow? Getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren't you?

Aurora looked me in the eye, leaned so close I could smell the coffee on her breath. I'm sure my heart fell out of my butt.

"Do you have anything better to do? Or will the thing you're running from, that is so bad that you can't tell me have gone by then?" She was so serious, her eyes burning into me, almost making me speak out loud. Almost.

I guess not. And, no. It'll always be there.

Until that moment, I never realized just how hopeless I felt about my life ever changing, of anything getting better. I didn't see how it could. Even if I got into college, He would never let me out of the house, he needed to control me too much to let me run away too. Run away like my Mother had.

I chugged my coffee, now nearly cold, and waved to Peach Lips, he refilled my cup and left without a word.

 "That doesn't mean you can't leave, Matt. Graduation and all that. College," her voice was quiet, worried. Aurora had caught scent of my hopeless feelings too. 

I shook my head, sipping my coffee, not looking at her. Even if my marks were decent enough to get into a four year, He would keep me at home, and besides, with the fact that he would be paying for school, he wouldn't want to shell out extra dough for money for a dorm.

I was trapped.

 "I'm sure you can get out. Don't let anyone trap you somewhere you don't want to be," Aurora put her hand on my shoulder, causing me to glow. I turned to look at her, overwhelmed by how stunning she was, before that thought popped into my head.

Was that what someone had said to my Mother before she decided to leave? Did someone, at one time, convince her to not let herself be trapped by her husband and son? Did they justify it? Say it was best for her? Didn't they think for a second, just a minute, about that little boy that would wake up to find his mother gone, forever?

Didn't they think about what would happen? How angry He would get?

Of course not, no one ever thinks about anyone else, do they? Not anymore, it's all about freedom now, no matter the pain it causes someone else.

 I sipped my coffee, chasing away the pain with hot liquids. I turned back to this loud, brave girl beside me, begging her to ask me something else. Something to get my mind out of this pit I was stuck in.

"If you did escape, what would you do?" Aurora studied me, like I was about to break. I wondered what my face looked like, and flushed red. I probably looked like I was about to burst into tears, this heavy metal ball sitting on my chest. 

No idea. Not like it matters. It won't happen. I'm not made of steal.

By the time I slid the pad to her, it was too late. My blood turned to ice, I gripped the countertop with my fingers, bile rising in my throat. Fuckfuckfuck 

 "Made of steal? Matt, what does that mean"? I could feel her staring at me, looking me up and down. I couldn't move, couldn't get up and run, no matter how much I wanted to. 

Aurora reached for my arm, and grabbed on -tighter than she assumed, either that or I was still really fucking tender - I yelped in spite of myself and yanked my arms free, rubbing the sore spot and keeping my arm close to me.  

"Matt! What...why. Let me see your arm, Matt." her voice was hard, cold, ice. She meant business, but I shook my head, bit my lip until I tasted blood. Just because she took what I worte that way, didn't mean I had to show her, ever. She'd tell. She'd tell and ruin everything.

Matt. Please, just let me see," she reached slowly for me, her voice soft, a coo. If I leaned any further away, I'd fall off the fucking stool. I stared at her hands as they creeped to the edge of my hoodie sleeve and slowly started to pull it up.