Everglow

October 22, 2016: What Would I Do Without You

Richard worries as Maine has been off the grid. He calls her secretary and was told she took the week off. Worried, he calls some of her officemates and badgers them about Maine. But they weren't of any help either.

He knew it was stupid and pointless, but he couldn't stop himself of thinking about the worst case scenarios, and he silently prayed she was okay, wherever she was. He was about to call Carlo when his doorbell rang.

And there she was standing in front of him, eyes looking incredibly tired, her face without a stray of make-up. Yet she looked entirely, incredibly beautiful to him.

He audibly sighs in relief and hastily embraces her as she walked through his front door, "Meng naman, where have you been?! Nagaalala kami sayo! Wala ka man lang pasabi kung saan kang lupalop pupunta!"

She pulls away and looks at him intently, as if studying his face thoroughly, memorizing its every line and curve. A sudden wave of longing overwhelmed her as she realized how much she missed seeing Richard, how it felt like so much time has passed since she last saw him.

"I think I want to break up with Carlo."

***************

Richard tries to control the shock from registering on his face.

This is probably my last chance to do this.

He gathers up all the courage he had and threw away all his pride and fears. He asks her to stay in the living room and walks purposefully towards his bedroom.

She could hear boxes shuffling, and after a minute or so, Richard comes out with his hands on his pocket. He stands in front of her and sighs deeply as he took something out of his pocket. He held it out in his hands for her to see.

Maine takes it from him and smiles at him, this reminiscent look on her face, "Your last coupon."

He nods silently, smiles at her shyly, and looks down on his feet.

"You want to use it today? Ang labo mo naman Rj eh. I have a crisis here, and I need you. I need my best friend."

"Menggay, I'm asking for five uninterrupted minutes. And whatever I say in those five minutes, forget them if you want to. Just listen to what I have to say, because I might never find the courage to say them again. But for five minutes, can I please stop being your best friend? For five minutes can I be just Richard? Just be this regular guy who has waited years to tell you..."

"Okay."

His palms were starting to sweat, as he repeatedly berated himself for choosing the worst time to tell her. He knew how incredibly selfish he was being, but there was no better time to tell her but now. Richard closes his eyes for a few seconds, and sighs heavily, "I love you, Maine."

She stood in front of him, stunned, mouth agape. She had tried to imagine countless of times how it would feel to hear those words from him--but now there were no bells ringing, no birds singing, no sound of fireworks crackling against the sky. Nothing of that sort.

Hearing Richard tell her he loved her sounded like the steady rush of water kissing the shoreline. It brought her the peace of mind she had always longed for. She always knew there was something greater than the happiness people longed for, and that was contentment. The inexplicable feeling of not wanting nor needing anymore in life, of no long having to run after something you've always longed for.

That's how it felt for her, she was finally content.

He loves me. After all these years he still loved me.

"I always did, and I never stopped. And I never planned to tell you because I was sure you were happy with him. And now really feels like the last chance I will ever get to tell you because when you get over this 'hump', I'm pretty sure Carlo will never let you go." She noticed his knuckles clenched tightly on his side, as he closed his eyes shut. After a few seconds, his eyes flutteredopen and he gave her this subdued smile, "I've been spending most of my life living in regret, but I've had enough, Menggay. I love you. It may be selfish, but to me, it hardly matters now if you feel the same way."