Trust

Flashback

Franky saw Allie run out and head to her cell. She spoke to Allie and she got told the exchange before Franky went and spoke to Bea
"You shouldn't push her away Red, you need her and she needs you" Franky sat next to Bea
"I do need her, but im sick of putting her in danger Franky you don't understand" After talking a little longer Franky left as Bea asked
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4 days later Bea and Allie still haven't spoke, no one had hardly seen Bea. She hasn't eaten, also has hardly slept. Franky walked into the cell when she noticed Bea had lost alot of weight and colour in her face
"Red stop doing this to yourself. You and Allie are a mess" Bea just shrugged, she didn't answer anything that Franky said.
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That night Allie went into Beas cell to check on her
"Bea.. how are you?" The older woman just ignored the blonde.
Allie noticing she went and sat on the bed.
"I miss you Bea..i need you.." Allie paused tears streaming
"I love you.. and i will be here for you even if you try and push me away okay?" Bea started crying listening to everything Allie said it makes her feel appreciated and loved. Bea locked eyes with Allie, seeing the blue eyed girl in pain because of her, she rested her forehead on Allies
"Don't cry Allie.. please" The older woman wrapped the blonde tight in her embrace, not letting go as Allie sobbed for almost 20 minutes, Bea was rocking her back and fourth when she finally calmed down and looked at them deep brown eyes
"Please don't push me away" looking back at her gaze she saw how red and puffy her eyes were
"I know i just can't protect you like i want too" Bea admitted, shuffling back
"You don't need to protect me all the time babe, i want to help you and protect you as well, we are stronger together believe me" Allie leaned in close, Bea closing the gap between them and kissed Allie, it lasted for ages. So much passion and desire in the kiss that they both pulled back smiling.
"Who did that to your arm?" Allie finally had the courage to ask, she knew who but wanted to her Bea say it but instead only got a shrug
"Doesn't matter ill get the person back" Bea let out a tired smile but Allie frowned
"No you're not babe, you're gonna rest and 100% heal" Bea just smirked
"Yeah i know i'm sorry" She looked to the ground knowing that Allie was disappointed.
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A few days later everything was back to normal, Bea and Allie were in the best place and their friends were happy.
Bea was in the library, she started studying art more since she loved drawing, she heard low voices as she was sitting in the corner but that was just the laughter of the other woman. Bea was inside her own head, seeing flashbacks of harry beating her and Debbie watching on crying. Harry standing over her beating her down, kicking her till she couldn't move she didn't notice the hand on her arm
"Bea?"
Harry was pushing and shoving her yelling in her ear,
"You're trash, a shit mother and a useless wife" Bea pushed the figure in front of her over, pulling herself out of her flashback she seen Franky on the floor
"Red!" Franky stood up and grabbed Beas arm
"What was that about?" She demanded an answer but instead Bea just said sorry and hurried off. The older woman had been in the showers all day, She hadn't spoken to anyone since that little situation with Franky but Franky certainly told the others. All being worried especially Allie.
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Turning the shower off she got out and wrapped a towel around her, standing in front of the mirror she saw another flash back
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"Bea! What is this crap? He punched the table kicking his chair across the room
"It's dinner Harry could you do a better job? Go for it?" Bea snapped but she knew she was going to pay
"You stupid dumb bitch what gives you the right" he moved closer to her punching her in the face, throwing her across the room continuing his assault until it turned sexual.
He had finished when Bea was bleeding everywhere
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Bea was clenching her fists on the counter, why was she thinking about him? He caused her nothing but pain. Getting dressed she sat on the bench, head in her hands pulling her hair. She knew she had to give the girls an explanation but what?
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Getting back to the unit they all twisted their heads around
"Bea love where have you been?" Liz was the first to asked followed by Allie and Maxine.
"I was in the shower" She wasn't lying she was
"What for 3 hours?" Allie snapped back, Bea just shook her head and walked into her cell shutting the door behind her.
"Shit what have i done" Allie gasped, she didn't want to snap but she wanted Bea to tell the truth, going into Beas cell she saw her already in bed
"I want to sleep by myself tonight" Bea was the first to speak and Allie just laughed sarcastically
"Sounds about right" Bea didn't know where this attitude was coming from
"Whats that suppose to mean?" Bea stood up leaning against the wall
"You never let me inside you're head and you know what, i have had my own problems like fighting an urge for drugs but you haven't noticed, you never notice anything anymore so sleep fucking tight Bea" Allie headed towards the door and slammed it behind her.
She was right, Bea hasn't been paying attention much but she still cared. She gave time for Allie to calm down before going into her cell, knocking quietly she walked in
"Allie?" Bea whispered, Allie just pulled the covers over her head, Bea knew it was going to be hard but she had to own up to it
"When Harry use to rape me i thought i deserved it" Bea slid her back against the wall, looking straight ahead, Allie moved the covers from her head and sat up
"He told me everyday that i did, that i was useless nothing but trash, i was a shit mum and a shit wife" Bea started getting agitated but calmed her breathing
"If i didn't make a stupid decision my little princess would still be alive" Bea had a stray tear streaming down her cheek. Allie went to wipe it but Bea pulled away
"Shes dead because i was stupid and vulnerable. I was too scared to leave him and i thought i was doing the right thing. I wasn't a good mum cos i couldn't protect her. She had to watch her mum get hospitalised every single day and every time i made an excuse, anyway the point is that i'm sorry i haven't been paying attention and you're right, it's not fair and i promise from now on i will okay? Because i love you so much and i don't want you hurt" Bea finished speaking when Allie wrapped her arms around the red head tight
"You didn't deserve it babe, no one does and you are a top mum don't ever say that you're not. If i ever get the displeasure of meeting that arsehole he will wish he did fucking die" Bea just chuckled
"Anyway im here to listen to you not the other way around" Allie pulled Bea onto the bed holding each others hands.
"It's nothing i just had an urge to use, and it was hard fighting it by myself" Bea kissed her hand
"Hey, when that happens you have to tell me yeah? Im not going to accuse you every time because it may not be that" Allie nodded and she understood every thing Bea just said
"I got to apologise to Franky" she sighed and Allie placed her hand in her hair
"She told me you pushed her" Bea nodded she wasn't going to lie
"Yeah.. i had a flashback of Harry and i thought it was him.. stupid right" Allie smiled and shook her head
"With all the trauma you have been through it's not stupid baby, and i love you too" Bea and Allie blissfully fell asleep in each others arms that night.