Friends With Benefits (A Sidemen Fanfiction)

25

     I was laying down in JJ's bed, as I have been for three days, and he was recording. I wanted to go take a shower really bad, but JJ told me not to get up without his or someone else's help because he didn't want me to bust my stitches. JJ didn't look like he was about to be done recording anytime soon, as they were recording Trivial Pursuit which usually lasted a bit. So, I sat up myself, being careful to not make any noise or make JJ look at me. I went to the big pile of clothes I had here and grabbed a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. We wouldn't be going anywhere I didn't think, so I wouldn't have to actually look nice. My wound still hurt really bad, and I laid in JJ's arms sobbing yesterday over the loss of the baby, but I was doing better. "What the fuck?!" JJ yelled suddenly, making me look over at him. He was staring intently at his screen and relief washed over me. JJ's never gotten angry at me. He's never raised his voice at me in a serious manner. I'm thankful for that. Hell, I was thankful to have JJ period.

•••

      "What did I tell you about getting out of bed?" A voice behind me made me jump and spin around. JJ stood there, directly behind me, looking at me with a small smile. I shrugged and turned back around. I was cooking breakfast for everyone. Pancakes. He wrapped his arms very lightly around my waist, being super careful to not touch my stomach. I had a big bruise around the actual wound itself from the force of the guy, who has still not been arrested. It sent chills down my spine at the thought. That he was getting away with this and the death of my child. It was his fault. "How you feeling?" JJ's voice calmed me instantly. "I'm great." I mumbled. JJ sighed and removed his arms from around me. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. He lifted up my t-shirt so he could look at my stomach. He ran his fingers on top of the bruise lightly. "If I ever meet the bastard that did this I'll kill him." He said with a small scoff as he dropped my shirt and went to the fridge, getting out some orange juice. Now that Liv and I were both staying here, the guys had actually gotten some decent groceries. "I think Vik's girlfriend is coming around today so you'll get to meet her finally." JJ changed the subject. I nodded and turned around to face the cooking food again. "And I was thinking about making a video to announce everything." He said a little quieter. "Would you like to call your parents and tell them first?" I asked as I turned the burner off and placed the final pancake on a plate with the others. JJ sighed as I placed the food on the island. "Should I?" He asked. I sat down across from him. "I would." I shrugged. I know JJ told the guys about my family situation, and I didn't really mind because they didn't seem to mind. They didn't look at me differently and think that my parents were right to leave me. JJ nodded. "I will in a bit." He said, more to himself than to me. Then, it was silent again, as it was between us often. I didn't mind it. It was just like both of us were thinking about what to say around one another, knowing we were both a bit emotionally sensitive for the time being. I didn't like thinking of what happened to be an awful thing. I mean, of course it is, it's just I wish I could accept the fact that I was alive and well and be content with that. But I wasn't, because my child will never be born. I sighed and JJ glanced up at me, but remained silent when I shook my head, telling him it was nothing. I was just thinking, as he was often doing as well.

•••

I was running. I didn't know why or what from, so I stopped and looked behind me. Nothing was there. It was just an empty path in the middle of a forest. "You alright?" A voice said to my right. I looked over to see an older woman sitting on a bench. I was hesitant at first, but plopped down beside her. When I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out. So, I looked at the woman and took in her beauty. She was an older woman with a few small streaks of grey in her black hair. Her face was a bit weathered, but nothing too bad. "I've missed you." She smiled, placing a delicate hand on my face and brushing my hair lightly. I was sure I had never seen this woman before in my life, so I just stared at her. "Oh, child, it's been too long." She smiled. Tears started rolling down her face and only then did I realize I was staring into the face of my mother.

My eyes shot open. "You okay?" JJ asked from his computer. He was editing, and I was sleeping restlessly. I nodded and put a hand on my forehead. "You were crying in your sleep, so I threw a pillow at you." He said with a small laugh. "Geez thanks." I said sarcastically as I brought the duvet up to my chin once again. "Goodnight, princess." JJ said with a small chuckle. "Don't call me that." I muttered, just loud enough for him to hear. "Right. Goodnight, love."