Paper Hearts [Brallon-ish]

11 days after

Pete and I both went on a short walk right before curfew arrived. I was freezing my ass off, but he seemed to be perfectly fine. I swear he's like a goddamn polar bear. 

We wandered around the outskirts of the flooded lawn, wherever we felt like stepping. Occasionally it was sopping wet, but that was alright I guess, because it didn't last for long.

I wasn't watching where I was going, only the grass and the cement edges of the sidewalk. Pete was guiding me, and I didn't realize he'd stopped on the bridge until I looked up.

And all the memories of Brendon telling me a little more about Sarah rushed back, the sound of his insane laughter echoing through the air, the way he leaned over the railing a bit too far for my liking. Suddenly, I was terrified that bridge was going to collapse, like somehow Brendon had become the bridge, if that even made an ounce of sense, which it did in my mind at the least. But then again, I think my mind had been shorting out frequently now.

"God, it was all my fault."

Pete turned and squinted at me. "What are you-" he stopped and glared, lips curving down into a frown. "Shut up. It was everybody's fault."

"No, no it wasn't." I sputtered. It was all my fault. Nobody else should've had to watch over him. They'd all already done their parts before me, and all the weight had been placed on my shoulders, like runners passing a baton in a race. A race to the end, and I'd dropped the fucking baton. "I could've saved him, Pete, I could've-"

"We all could've saved him! Stop being so... so selfish!" He spat and pressed a finger to my chest, angry unsaid words stirring in his eyes.

Pete growled like an animal and shoved both hands at me before stalking off. Stupidly, I ran after him because I didn't want to be left behind out in the dark so close to Brendon's ghost that still told me what I'd done wrong.

"I'm sorry-"

"You should be sorry!" He yelled at the top of his lungs with his fists balled at his sides "you should be sorry because you did this! You were so fucking selfish because you thought he loved you! Why couldn't you have just listened to me when I said he wouldn't fall in love with you? I fucking told you and you didn't even listen-"

"Oh, how would you know!"

"Because I was number 6!" He hollered and we both stopped for a second in stunned silence.

"It lasted for 2 months, almost 3. He was absolutely terrified of losing me as a friend and as a partner too, and I could tell. I could see it in his eyes. So I broke it off and we agreed to just stay friends, and we put the past behind us." Pete muttered and started walking away before I could process what he'd told me.

Maybe he just knew. He knew after Sarah, Brendon kinda broke, like he'd said. It was like he tried to warn me and damn it I should've listened but I didn't and now here I was, one first love dead and down with no more to go.

"But he loved me, he kissed me-" I called after him across the yard, and he spun around on his heels just to glare at me.

He cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled, "He kissed everyone. You were just the last."

And he stormed in after that and stomped to our room without another word.

So I'd finally gotten the opportunity to have a moment to myself to walk back to the dorms, wander up the stairs at my own pace, and sit down on the lawn chair I'd previously claimed for myself (so Pete wouldn't stand on it again or spill his stupid goddamn chili all over it) to finish up the essay I had to do for English that I never finished due to some unfortunate events. However, all the teachers have been more understanding than usual and are completely fine with me turning in my best work a couple days late.