Pills And The Bad Boy

Chapter One

Hannah's P.O.V

If someone were to ask me what the worst part about trying to commit suicide but then waking up again to the same desolate feeling was, I would tell them that it was exactly that. The worst part was waking up and feeling the same emptiness again. The same emptiness that I've been feeling for nearly two years. And even after all that time, after basically killing myself, the feeling is still there. 

The second worst part is definitely all of the questions. I guess I can understand that part though. Who wouldn't wander why the girl who had everything would be so selfish as to take her own life? No one ever wanders about how that girl was alone enough to have done the exact same thing whenever she would have chosen. 

"Are you sure that you want to go back?"

Right now? I'm sitting in my giant bedroom with my best friend Alexis. I've known her since I was basically a fetus and I honestly think that out of everyone she's taken what I did worse. She didn't forgive me for what seemed like forever after it happened. I can understand where she was coming from. 

"I have to go back sooner or later," today will be my first day back to school since my attempt. I'm not sure what exactly to expect when I go back but according to Alex I probably won't be getting much positive feedback from my peers.

"But you haven't heard the things that they've been saying about you," Alex says grabbing her backpack from the floor as I move across the room to grab my own. "Everyone has started calling you Pills."

I don't reply to her as I pick up my backpack and walk out of the room with Alex trailing behind me. I, of course, have already become aware of the name that my peers have given me, I am on social media so it's not something I've been able to avoid lately.

"I'm being serious about this Hannah," Alex says as we walk down the long staircase. "They don't see you as their Queen Bee anymore."

"I didn't want anyone to in the first place," I say rolling my eyes at her. 

"I'm just saying," she says as we walk into the empty kitchen. It's really no surprise that my parents are already gone. They're never here in the mornings when I leave for school. "People are going to look at you differently and say some shitty things."

"Alex I get it," I say grabbing the lunchbox that Marcus, our butler, prepared for me earlier. "I'm sure they can't talk about me any worse than they did when I was the center of attention."

"Whatever," she mumbles and that's the end of that conversation. Of the two of us I think that Alex has always been the more level headed one. She's very content with her life. She's got a great family, she already knows what she wants to spend the rest of her life doing, and she's basically got her whole future planned out already.