Denial

Chapter Fourteen: Long Overdue Make Up

Reed

The best part about having a motorcycle has got to be the wind blowing by as you speed down the highway. I don't know why I like it as much as I do, but it was the one thing that could really make me forget everything that was going on.

If only that was really possible, though. As I was going down the highway, I was thinking. I was thinking about Quincy, mostly. And what exactly I would say when I eventually arrived at my destination.

I even thought about Matt for a brief moment. And during that brief moment, when I was stopped at a traffic light, I pulled out my phone and called him. I'm sure he wouldn't care where I was, so I didn't plan on saying that at all, just letting him know that I probably wasn't dying and not to expect me back in the room for a while. Except, his voicemail picked up at the same time the light turned green, so I wasn't sure how much of that he actually got.

Then I had to go and ruin an already awful day by dropping my phone right after I hung up. At least it gave me an excuse to get a new one. I was getting bored of that version anyway.

Finally, after a couple hours of driving, I pulled up to the large house at the end of this tiny little street. And I still had no clue what I was going to say.

I stayed sitting on my bike for a long while, just staring up at the house. I hadn't been here since I was thirteen, but it looked just the same as I remembered it.

It must have been a decent amount of time that I was just sitting there, trying to find the courage to actually go up to the door, when it opened and a man stepped out. He, too, looked the same, if not slightly older, as the last time I saw him, although that was when I was seventeen.

He stopped walking when he noticed me in his driveway. "Reed?" he called out. He looked confused as to why I was here. To be honest, I didn't really know either.

I sighed and got off my bike. Couldn't exactly leave now. "Hi, Micah," I said, walking over to him. I wasn't expecting him to be here, but I guess I should have expected it, considering he lived here, too.

"It's good to see you again, Reed. What brings you by?"

"Is my dad here?"

"No, actually, but he should be home any minute if you want to wait. I was just about to check the mail."

If I even wanted to to consider ditching this whole idea before he got home, I wasn't fast enough. Just at that moment, my dad pulled into the driveway, stopping his car right next to my bike.

He was instantly out of the car and quickly walking over to us, a smile trying to break its way onto his face.

"Reed? What's going on?"

"What? Can't a kid stop by to see his father?"

He looked a bit confused. "Of course you can, Reed. Anytime you like. It's just that you never have before."

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. It was my choice to come here today. "I-" I sighed. This was more difficult than I thought it would be. "I came to apologize. To both of you."

Micah had gone to check the mailbox when my dad first walked up to me, and he only got back over to us just in time to hear that last bit of what I said. His mouth dropped open, but he looked to my dad to see how he'd react before saying anything.

My dad kept his face still, although there was still that hint of a smile there. "Let's take this inside, shall we?"

A few minutes later, the three of us were sitting around their living room; Papa and Micah taking the couch while I took the chair across from them.

"We're willing to listen, anytime you'd like to start," my dad said after a long minute of just silence.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly before answering. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you both over the years," I began, not meeting their gazes. "For so long, I was an asshole to you, Papa. I thought you left us for Micah because you hated us, so I hated you back. And Micah, I hated you because you took him away."

"I never wanted to not be a part of your life," my dad said softly.

I raised my head to look at him. "I know. You told me years ago that you never wanted to leave me, but I didn't listen. Lo siento, Papa. I don't hate you, either of you, because I get it now. I get that you were only doing what you felt would make you happy. And that wasn't staying married to Mamá." I cleared my throat, which was getting a bit tight. "My boyfriend was actually the one who finally got me to understand that what I usually say is pretty offensive. I'm just still having trouble accepting the fact that I may possibly be gay."

"Is this boyfriend the guy you were contemplating your feelings over last week?"

I nodded my head slowly. "Yeah. Quincy. I like him, but he has a dick. And I don't know if I like that about him. It kinda freaked me out when I saw it."

Micah was taking a sip of his water as I said that and started choking. Papa patted him on the back a couple of times before his coughing subsided.

"Sorry," Micah said when he was breathing again. "That comment just took me by surprise."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why? It's true."

"One, I was unaware that you were even thinking about guys like that, even though your father apparently knew. Two, why were you and your boyfriend naked together?"

I saw Papa roll his eyes at his husband. "He's a college student, Mike. You have to remember your own adventures with other guys back then."

Micah ignored that comment. "It has been quite a few years since I've seen you, Reed. You've grown up so much since I first met you when you were twelve. That's the little boy I still picture you as, not the man you are now."

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back into the chair. "I'm not a little kid."

"We know you're not," my dad said, grabbing Micah's hand. "And I wish I had seen you grow up, but I am so glad you are here now, even all grown up."

I was done with all this kind of talk. I needed to know what to do about Quincy. "So how the fuck do I start liking dicks?" I exclaimed, cutting Micah off from whatever he was about to say.

They both started laughing, but when I glared, they quieted down. It's not funny. I really need to figure this out, because I like Quincy. And today was the best sex of my life. But I couldn't get the image of his gross-looking dick out of my head. Well, it wasn't gross-looking, just weird. Like, I knew what mine looked like, but this was another guy's. It was just fucking weird to think about.

"Have you talked to him about this?" Papa asked. "He's probably the better person to talk to about this rather than us."

"I kinda just left after having sex with him..." Even as the words left my mouth, I knew that I had fucked up. I didn't even need to see the shocked looks on their faces to tell me that. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't have just walked out like that. But I panicked."

"Call him right now," Papa said sternly. "He's probably thinking you don't like him or something. Apologize to him for walking out."

"I lost my phone on the way over here," I admitted. Before they could say anything, an idea popped into my head. I jumped to my feet. "I know what I'm going to do. Bye."

Running out of the house, I practically threw myself onto my bike. Tossing on my helmet, I quickly backed out of the driveway, ignoring the look my dad and Micah were giving me from the doorway. I knew exactly what I needed to do to make everything with Quincy work out.