Nineteen

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Kate

"Nash...pick up the phone...call me back...do something...I'm getting worried........okay, bye."

I ended the call with his voicemail, again and set my phone down on my stomach. It probably wasn't a great idea, I was around the pool in a bikini and letting my phone sit on my stomach could leave some awkward tan lines, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

"I'm sure he's fine." Stacey said from the lawn chair to my left. "He's probably just super busy or something."

"Yeah. Relaxxxx." Mia aid from the pool, she's been floating around the pool for some time, huge sunglasses covering her eyes, one hand dangling in the water and the other clutching a wine bottle.

I looked out towards the garden where Sammy and my cousin Tera out in the garden. They'd been practically inseparable since the reunion. Something we owed entirely to Alessio. He had come to me today in some twisted way unsettled something he rarely was about these sort of things and rather than comfort him I had lashed out.

Was I too hard on him?
"Seriously Katie. Relax. He's probably just stuck at the airport or something." Stacey insisted.

I chewed my lip for a few moments before turning back to Stacey. "Alessio and I got into a fight today."

"What?" Mia asked and pushed her sunglasses up. "I thought you guys were great. There was the whole house thing and Tera-"

"Couples fight." Stacey shot Mia a look as if I was so fragile that they must be gentle with me lest I break.

"You remember Sergio?"

"Erm, not really. There's so many guys here. I'm still learning everyone back at home."

"He's hard to forget, trust me. The one who helped with dinner and walked out with that Aria girl..."

"The smoking hot one?" Mia asked from the pool.

"I mean, I guess if that's how you remember him-"

"Oh yeah, it definitely is."

I picked up my phone and turned it over in my hands several times before continuing. "Alessio told me Ugo had him killed."

"Oh." Mia deflated.

After much, and I do mean much, effort Stacey managed to sit up rather the lounge and turned her full attention to me.

"I mean, you should get it Stace. Pietro is running things you know how it works...people die in this business I just thought...I don't know. I thought we were done seeing people come and go, you know? And Alessio said he was unsettled by it. I mean come on. Unsettled? Your father is killing someone and all you can say is you're unsettled?"

"Hm. Well...I mean Pietro isn't like that." As far as we knew. The position he was in was toxic. Pure and unavoidable toxic. It turned people into monsters. "But I mean...you know how it is." Stacey leaned back in the lounge chair and her hand began moving over her stomach.

She was worried. She knew how it was. She knew how cruel this life was, how dangerous, how dark, she knew it was dangerous and I knew exactly what she was thinking since I brought it up. I had had the same fears when I thought of starting a family with Alessio.

Would the baby be safe? Would the baby grow up with both parents or be orphaned? If she grew up with both of us, was never harmed herself, would she be good? Or would she be tainted, would she be taught to be cruel and dark and powerful? Would she be a criminal? A murderer? A tyrant? Would the child in her stomach be the next cold and robotic leader of the mafia?

"That guy definitely wasn't, uh, friendly. You know? I can see why Ugo had a problem with him. Given who Ugo is and all that..." She seemed uncertain. Even months down the road this was still a lot to grasp. She couldn't tell me what was normal or acceptable or not in this family. To let her true feeling out now and her distaste would only stress her out about what was to come in her own life. "It's not like Alessio pulled the trigger, right?"

"He was upset?" Mia asked and I nodded.

"He made this shitty comment about how he told me because he thought when two people were together that they helped carry each other's weight when it was too heavy for them."

"Well that's true." Mia cut in.

"I know, I know. But to be like hey sorry you're feeling shitty about letting your dad continue to be a murderer...want a hug?"

"He doesn't strike me as the hugging type."

I groaned. "That's not the point. Just how am I supposed to be okay with this?"

"You aren't. You're just supposed to get through it." Stacey muttered and suddenly, I was feeling guiltier than ever.

"Love you Stace."

"Love you too Kate." She said and stopped rubbing her stomach and instead took my hand.

I put my head back and watched the clouds. We were all silent now, simply holding hands, or in Mia's case holding wine. Alessio wasn't responsible for his father's actions, I knew that, I knew it. Had he told me his father had killed a member and he was feeling upset about it, hell, I probably would have been pleased!

He was showing change after all. This sort of stuff used to be second nature for him, his showing signs of guilt and distain for this life style should make me happy. I liked Sergio though, not liked, but didn't dislike I suppose. And somehow, even knowing I should be proud of the changes Alessio had been making, I was stuck on what I would do. How I could never walk away knowing someone was going to get killed.

Now I was feeling guilty for not comforting Alessio, and also, for Stacey. I wouldn't wish her position on my worst enemy, and I had let it fall upon my best friend.

I gave her hand a squeeze and she returned the gesture.

How much had she seen? How much had Pietro told her? If she hadn't ended up pregnant I had no doubt that the two would not have gotten back together. Although she loved him and he was gentle and affectionate, caring and attentive, he was everything and more a person could want for their partner and father of their child, she wouldn't have went back. Not like me.

"Should I apologize?"

"I wouldn't go that far. You should talk."

"Talk." I repeated. "What if I don't like what he has to say? What if he doesn't like what I have to say?"

"Then you keep talking until you find something you guys can come to agreement on."

"What if we never find anything?" I asked softly. No one answered, but Mia did make her way out of the pool and gave me the wine bottle.

Clearly, I needed it more than she.

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I know this one is reallly short but hey, you got two back to back so no complaints :P

Saturday I had a rare bit of FREE time, can you even believe it?! Time, to myself?! Time to write?! So I banged out a few chapters and hopefully you'll all be a little satisfied for awhile. Or horribly unsatisfied maybe, ya know, since you're all angry and all that jazz. But whatever.

Vote and comment (: 

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