A Different Fate (After Allegiant-Divergent)

Chapter 1

~TOBIAS'S POV~

At the Cafeteria in the Bureau, there aren't the best options for food. Canned soup and bread with butter, but it's food. I hope Evelyn saw the leftovers in our fridge, because I'm not planning on going home tonight. Once a week, I spend the night here, in the Bureau, in Tris' room. Our room. I don't really sleep, I usually just stare at her bed, cry a little if I'm really deep in thought, and pretend that she'll be back soon. That she's out training to become better, and that'll she'll slide in bed with me when she gets back. And that when I wake up, she'll be gone at breakfast already, which is why I wake up alone. It gives me a sense of security when I think like that.

I dream of her all the time also. Sometimes dreams, sometimes nightmares. My dreams are of us together, getting married, starting a family, growing old together. Basically the true fairytale. But then there are the nights where I have my worst fears. Watching Tris die right in front of my eyes, getting hit by my father, yes that still scars me, my heights, and my claustrophobia. Just imagine that all in one dream. I, restrained by faceless people while my father beats the living hell out of me and David holds a gun to Tris' head. As the room get's smaller, the building gets taller, my body aches more and David loads the bullets in place. I scream to let her go, but I can't even hear my own voice, like I've gone mute. Then the room just shirnks as the gun goes off and I wake up in sweat and tears. I would expect Tris next to me, but then I would be in an empty bed, and think that she just went to the bathroom.

Then someone snaps in front of my face. I look over and see that Zeke did, and my entire table is looking at me.

"What?" I ask taking a spoonful of my soup.

"You have been zoned out for the past five minutes, just looking at a wall and muttering 'Tris' every once in a while," says Amar. "Do you want to talk?" I just shake my head. Well I feel embarrassed. Everyone here has obviously gotten over Tris except me.

"Since Tobias is being completely oblivious again, I say we go ziplining tomorrow," says Caleb. I almost lunge at him to knock him out or strangle him. How dare he! Why would he want to go there? We just went two weeks ago to pour Tris. Why would he want to go back there? I will never go back there. I just get up and walk away, furious.

It's only been about two weeks since I poured her ashes ziplining down the Hancock building. The more I think of that moment, the more I regret it. I had her ashes for two years, not knowing what to with them, but now that they are gone, I feel like there is a hole that I can't quite fix. Like something is missing. I walk to our room and I make sure to lock it up. I lay down on my bed, and look over at Tris' bed. God I miss her. I miss her. I poured her. It's my fault I don't have anything left of her. Her flesh and body. I have her clothes, but that's it. I don't have her anymore. I got rid of her ashes. I got rid of her.

She would've been proud of me, for facing my fear of heights, and for letting go of her. But I hate myself for letting go of her. I felt like that was the last thing I had of her, and I poured it out. I yell into my pillow and pound on my bed, and let the tears flow.

"Tris," I say. "Tris, I need you!" I scream. I sit up and hide my face in my hands. "Tris, why did you have to leave me?" I catch my breath. "I'm so lost without you." I get up and turn off the light. When I crawl back into my bed, all I can do is cry. This is all Caleb's fault, wanting to go back to the Hancock Building. That was where his sister was poured, so why would he want to go back there? I know I will never go back there. I will never go back to town. Everything I see there reminds me of Tris.

Abnegation, where we both grew up. Amity, where we hid from Jeanine. Candor, where we found refuge. Erudite, the war, how we even found the Bureau in the first place. Dauntless, where we met. Where I fell in love with her, and where I became her boyfriend. Where she got her first tattoos, and where her friend Al died. Where I saved her life, and where she was the first jumper.

I can't go back to Navy Pier because that is where she almost died, and where I went to the top of the Ferris Wheel to make sure she would be safe. I will never even step foot near the Hancock Building. Not only is that where I...poured her ashes...it was the at that spot where at the same exact time she died. I knew something felt off at that moment, but I thought I was just overwhelmed about what was going on.

Sometimes, I begin to feel stupid. I feel like I'm the only one still really affected by this. It seems like Christina got over it, Cara got over it, even Caleb got over it. And well, Peter, just can't even remember her. But, Tris being gone, I feel like I am the only one that can't move on. Like, she will always be apart of me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I wouldn't be like this if it weren't for David. It's all his fault that she's gone and I feel like this, yet all he got out of it is that he can't walk anymore. Why couldn't it have been the other way around! Tris becomes paralyzed and he dies! I mean he's beginning to walk again, but Tris will never walk again! It's his fault, and at times, I just want to kill him, but he's still a high official in the Bureau, and I would be tried as a criminal if I did so. Plus, Tris would be disappointed at me.

Sometimes, I also wish that I were the one to die, and not her. I know that she would be just as deppressed as I am, and I would never wish this deppression on anyone, but I should've died that night. She had more to live for than I did. All I was, was Marcus Eaton's son, the boy who got beaten. And Evelyn Johnson's son, the son of a so called "revolutionary". I know I was more to Tris, but that would always stay between us. In eveyone else's eyes, I'm nothing but a worthless piece of human scum. I've done nothing to help the Bureau since Tris. All I've done was spend the night in here, and in my apartment. Yes, I hung out with my friends, but I don't do anything else other than that.

Well, I lied, I do do something else other than that. I mourn over Tris, and I think about how much I love her. But other than that, that's about it. I do nothing other than that, and I feel alone because of it. I then feel shiver running down my spine. She's here, I hope. She might be comforting me right now, and I don't even know it.

I look over at her bed, and I keep my eyes locked on it, until they become too heavy to keep open anymore. The last thing I think about is Tris, and how she'll be back from training late night soon.

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Dedicated to 1Dlover567 because she's awesome...so what did you think? And sorry if it's short :( But I will now be accepting questions for any of the characters.....limit one question please, but you can ask them anything! Look for your answer's at the end of all the chapters...and sorry it's a weird font, I lost the entire chapter and I had to copy and paste it off of Facebook and it came in this font...Anyways, PM me any ideas you have for the story, and happy reading.

Love, Bookjunkie001