Fearless

Separation

When people asks me about her, or when i hear her name from someone's mouth, my heart aches in a deepest and unexplainable pain. Surely they knew about her, surely they knew what happen, how come they didn't had the idea how painful it was to say that she's gone.

She kissed me on my cheeks before letting go my hand ...she whispered words in my ears and it marks in my brain. The way she says those 3 letter words meant much deeper to me now, how i wished i had given everything to her before she leave, how i wished that i'll made her feel the most wonderful woman i've ever met.

"mila , you don't have to do this ." dinah brushed her hand on my back. We watched the sunset. It's been half an hour since i dragged my bestfriend out in the street and sat on the bench where lauren and i used to sit way back when she's still with me. How drainful to talked to her in my sleep, how it felt sad to look at my walls without lively colors, surely she took everything in me when she left. But she left me a ring, the thing that holds of our promises together, most especially ,the thing that makes me believe that she happens in my life.

It was all orange , and a splash of yellow, until the dark came. I was waiting for her, to share the same view i wished her eyes were looking at. Im waiting for the moon and the stars, im waiting for her.. The only thing that's always there to remind me of her, to know that she's with me when she's not.

*********

"ilove you.." She whispers through my ear, her sound of sincere and loyalty. She stares deeply in my eyes with our hands interlock with each other, a smile painted on her face with so much adoration on mine. My savior thought me how to love, and how to be strong enough to face the differences in life, i accept the truth in me , she happens to be my eye opener, now im not afraid to be who i am.. Because of her.

"can't you stay babe?" I asked almost pleading, truely i wasn't the selfish one but this time, i wanted her to be mine, i want no one but her in my bed, in my arms.

"i'll be back, i promise...so i can grant my reward remember?" She playfully smiles at me with bright eyes. "and promise me you will never look for another green eyes in school okay?" She pinch my nose gently and kissed me on my forehead.

"your eyes ,it's all i ever wanted lauren, cause it's you." i said with a forced smile.

"6 months babe, wait for me huh, " she places a soft kiss on my forehead.

"i'll be back, and i'll marry you, then we will plan about our baby , i told you i want two girls, so prepare for that future mrs jauregui." Her words brings joy inside me. Her warm skin on my body, if we could only stay like this forever.

"how about, we live in miami with our baby? What do you think?" She brushed her thumb on my cheek. _"i want our home to be simple ,warm with the smell of your favorite coffee in the morning, then i imagined waking up with you beside our bed with our little baby in your arms, that will be my biggest dream camz." she tickles me and brought me up in her arms. "i love you."

My tears began to roll down on my cheeks, it's been 3 months since the accident and still there's no green eyes appeared in my front door. I missed her, i missed her so much.. Damn! She's irreplaceable.

I look at the moon with my tears continuosly drops on my cheeks, i began to sob as i felt the pain in my chest.

" she's not coming back dinah'" i said between sobs, my bestfriend hugged me trying to atleast ease my pain. She knows how hard it is for me, dinah was my biggest comforter ,she and ally always checks on me making sure im fine.

"shhhhh .." She's rubbing my back gently ,with her own glittery eyes. "be strong mila.. You can do this,.."

I sob harder under her neck, " she's- dead ,... I didn't save he-r.. She's dead dinah."