Treat You Better; Shawn Mendes I

20. You're Not Her

"The thing is...is now that she's gone she's all I ever think about. All that I want, and you're not her. No one can compare to her."

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Shawn's POV;

"I think...I think it's time to...to stop being friends for a while. You obviously have more important priorities."

Her words circled around and around in my head. I messed up. I ruined everything, I said and pushed her. I should've stopped, I should've just gave her space. But I didn't. I pushed and pushed, just like I pushed her away when I went on my trip.

But why? Why was this the outcome? She's being hurt by that dickhead. I wanted to beat him up, show him no mercy no matter how much he begged for it. I wanted him to know my pain. My pain of losing my best friend.

But I can't. I want to but I also want to know why she was so damn scared to tell me. She told me when her step dad was abusing her, so why wouldn't she tell me? Something was going on but she didn't call or text. She was serious about all of this...the not being friends anymore.

"Shawn? Hey are you okay?" I was brought out of my thoughts when someone called me.

I looked over to my left and found Olivia looking at me. She looked concerned.

"What?" I asked shaking my head and sitting up a little straighter.

She placed her hand on mine but they just felt cold. They weren't warm like Alex's. They didn't my hands feel like they were on fire like Alex's.

"Are you okay Shawn? You've been acting a little off. What's bothering you?" She asked and I knew she meant well. But I just couldn't open up.

I ran my fingers through my hair with my free hand, "Nothing's wrong just a little tired that's all." I give her a fake smile.

She gives me a smile and squeezes my hand before letting it go and went back to writing notes. I looked at the board but didn't write anything down, I wasn't even really paying attention. I couldn't my mind was just all over the place but somehow always ended up on one strawberry blonde.

The bell rang and I was pulled out of my thoughts. I packed up my stuff and waited for Olivia to pack up. We walked out and she slipped her hand in mine and intertwined our fingers. I probably would've loved this. Being in a relationship.

Olivia is pretty, smart, funny, and amazing. But ever since everything that happened between Alex and I, I just can't. I can't think about anything but her. I can't think about this girl next to me, is that bad? To think about another girl when you're supposed to be paying attention to another?

We walked out of the school and towards my car. I opened the door for her and she got in, I closed it and then got in. I threw my backpack in the back seat and started up the car.

It was a silent car ride back to her house. Olivia usually turned down the music and focused on her phone. It wasn't loud and funny like it usually was with Alex.

I pulled up into her drive way and cut the engine. I got out and I walked over to the other side and opened the door for Olivia. She got out and I locked my car before we headed inside her house.