EIGHTEEN (H.S)

21- For good

I can't believe we have been blessed with Harry's new pics again!!! He's so damn HOT

It was fun how I always ended up, at the same spot in the countryside, not far from Harry's new house, every time I was in Holmes Chapel. There was nowhere else I would find the peace to rest, and just think. Not even in my bedroom. I loved the fresh air, and the quietness brought by the view, of the littler river, and small hills. It helped me to clear my mind, and just drain the energy that I needed from nature.

It was Fall now. The weather was getting chillier. But I liked it. I'd never been a summer person, I loved going through the four seasons. I'd always thought that every time of the year was appreciable. And I loved Fall and Winter for big jumpers, or flannels, drinking hot drinks to warm you up.

As it was getting cold though, I sat down, on the grass, and made sure that my coat was covering my butt to not damp my blue skinny jeans. My beanie, scarf, boots and gloves were keeping me warm, as I took a look at the beauty in front of me.

I was back home for the week, to visit my mother, and see the guys who were in town. The air was damp, and the trees leaves color kept changing before falling. It was truly breathtaking.

I hadn't seen Harry for a couple of months now, since summer. And I hadn't heard from him as well.

Everything teared us apart, that summer, and we both didn't try to reach each other. We didn't get along anymore. Our relationship, whatever it was, friendship or love, simply didn't work, so we were no longer in each other life, and sadly, it was for the best.

Harry and I kept our distances, even after the letter he left me. I couldn't deny that what he wrote was beautiful, and the sincerest things he had expressed.

At the beginning, it had confused me. The way he had confessed some feelings and opened his heart. It was a first, coming from him and I wasn't prepared, overwhelming my heart with what looked like a revelation.

But unfortunately it didn't change how betrayed I felt. Nothing could bandage my wounds back then. And I needed time. I needed time to start over, building my life on my own, setting the milestones of a new life, beginning with my studies.

Hopefully, my life was in a better shape, since that summer.

I put it all together.

After coming back from Ibiza, I tried to stay with Ryan but it didn't work. Things became awkward between us even if I didn't really know why. All the drama in my life had probably teared us apart, and I hadn't the strength to fight for our relationship. It wasn't worse it. So with one accord, we agreed to break up, and no one got hurt in the process.

He was pretty easy with the decision. Which was showing that he wasn't the one for me, because it was understandable that I wasn't ready, or able to commit myself in a new relationship, or trust another man. But he didn't want to make effort either. So we just ended things, smoothly.

To be honest, I felt relieved. Relieved, because I didn't want that my relationship, with a guy, took control of my life again. It was the lesson that I had learned from the mistakes I had made with Harry. I let him control me, my life, and my happiness. It would not happen again. I had to be smarter.

I lost myself in my relationship issues with Harry, and I could say that now, I knew who I was again. And the most important, I knew who I wanted to become, the kind of woman I wanted to build.