death of a conformist || phan

fin

After that things got weird.
I straight up wanted to run away with Phil.
Just leave everything behind.
Phil told me I couldn't do this as it was cowardly and unfair.
It was.
But I was a coward.
And life was unfair.
But he told me I couldn't.
So I confronted Melissa the next day.
She didn't take it well.
Let's just say a few of my possessions are either in a sewer or burnt to a crisp.
She'll be okay though.
I'm pretty sure she had this thing going with this barman at the place she always went out to anyway.
I called off the engagement.
My mum was delighted.
She hated Melissa.
And she loved Phil.
My dad didn't seem to care either way.
He said he supported me no matter what (and he hadn't had a drop of wine for two years).
Adrian was going through his silly teenage phase.
He'd got his first girlfriend and only showed interest in her.
I didn't get so much as a grunt of approval.
I told them though.
I told everyone who mattered.
And me and Phil could be together.
We decided what we were going to do.
We hurriedly packed some suitcases and I drove us to the airport.
We weren't even sure where we were going or what we were doing.
We didn't have a huge amount of money.
We just jumped on the first plane we saw and went for it.

That was four months ago.
And here we are now in gorgeous Costa Rica.
Phil is out admiring every animal he sees.
He goes with the father of a lovely family, who is an expert on every crevice of Costa Rica and everything that lives there, and comes home spewing animal facts at me.
The suns made me pretty brown whilst Phil still looks like Voldemort.
There are so many frogs here I'm starting to feel like I'm just following the crowd.
The scenery and sheer beauty of this place has given me so much inspiration for my writing.
And of course my male muse.
Yes, I have started writing poetry again.
But I have written something much bigger and more beautiful.
A story.
The story of me and Phil.
Because you, Phil, asked me to write this for you.
And I promised I would.
Because I love you with everything in me.
And I'm so incredibly happy that I have such a wonderful person back in my life.
How cringey.
(True though)
I also promised that I would end this story with a poem.
So here it is:

Before I met you Phil
I simply wasn't me
I pretended to have someone else's
personality

But you saw through my bullshit
And I put you through a lot
But you persevered with me
Until I found you hot ;)

You taught me more than school did
You taught me not to care
You taught me to love myself
And whoever else I dare

Everything I thought mattered
Was simply in my head
You made me who I am now
That conformist is completely dead

For seven years I've loved you
And I will forever more
You were my first, my last, my everything
And everything I adore

Thank you for being mine Phil
And for being the star of my story
I hope it's as fun to read through
As it was to live it for me

I will write my final words now
As my eyes are getting soggy
I can't wait for my forever with you
Love always, your froggy x