Adopted by 5sos

Part 13

Ashton's POV

"Hey Hannah?" I say walking into Hannah's room

"Yes" she says

"When did you last sleep?"I ask trying to be casual

She shruggs "I can't remember"

"What do you mean you can't remember?" I say slightly annoyed

"I don't think you understand how hard I'm trying" she tells me

"I know your trying" I say, she keeps playing with her sleves and I know why "Show me your wrists" I say gently

She lets out a small whimper and says "I'm sorry but, the butterfly is kinda dead"

I'm sad but not surprised "let me see" She rolls up her sleves and I sit down next to her and she's shaking. I see a slighlty faded, dead butterfly and seven new painful looking scars.

"I should be dead, my brother should be alive and you should have a better child. Everything would be easier if I wasn't alive" she whispers

"I don't know if you will ever understand  how much you mean to me and the boys" I tell her "you are meant to be here. Ok."

She gives a slight nod and I say "say it"

"I am meant to be here" she repeats it a few times and says "Ashton, I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you"

"Well I'm so glad you are"

1 hour later

I'm making dinner and I have a thought I go upstairs to Hannahs room. She isn't in there so I creep into her bathroom, rumage through her cabinet and find a razor blade which I flush down the toilet and then I grab her sleeping pills. The bottle is unsuprisingly full. I go back downstairs and continue making spaghetti, I hear shouts from the games room I assume they are all playing mario cart. I take the bottle of pills take two out, mush them up and stir them into Hannahs food. I feel very guilty but I really need to make sure Hannah's Ok, she'll be angry but I can handle that.

"DINNER" I shout and a few seconds later everyone comes through laughing

"I kicked your arse" Hannah say with a thick accent

"One, no you didn't and two why dont you go play the bagpipes you scottish cheat" Michael teases, Hannah slaps him hard and they both start laughing.

We all eat dinner (even Hannah) and then we all clean up, we go through to the games room because Hannah quote "wants to see me kick Michael's arse" We start to play and Hannah acts all droopy and then all of a sudden falls off her chair when I look at her she is fast asleep and I start to think that this might not be the best idea.

"Guys, I think I fucked up, monumentally" I announce

"Why, What did you do?" Luke asks

"I slipped Hannah her sleeping pills in the Spaghetti" I say slapping myself on the head

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Michael says angrily

"I just wanted her to sleep, I was scared for her" I tell them

"Do you understand what you have done" Michael asks furiously

"I know, I know, I know, she is gonna kill me" I say

"not if I do it first" Michael replys

"Ok your mind was in the right place, but we can't help you" says Luke while he walks out, Calum and Michael follow him but before he leaves Michael says "No bullshit ok, just apologise"
I nod and he leaves.

I stay up all night watching Hannah, thinking about how I'm going to apologise.