Alienus

Chapter Fifty Eight

The thing about time is, it's both merciless and ruthless. It passed by, uncaring of the wounded it left behind. Of the people it took away with it or the pain it allowed to grow. Unaware of the pain it sometimes dulled too. It only cared about one thing.

Not stopping.

And that's what I realised when I opened my eyes the next day. I stared at the ceiling for a long time, my eyes tired, my heart even worse. There wasn't a single second of having forgotten what happened the previous day ... or was it night?

I couldn't tell anymore.

It was almost as if the grief stayed with me all through the night, a familiar heavy hand on my shoulder. Something that I couldn't ignore even when I got used to the feeling.

Another tear slid down my face as I sat up, my hair falling around me like a curtain. Kylee may not have been perfect, but she tried to do all she could to survive. She fell in love. Twice. Once with a man who was never by her side ... And the second time, with a child, that stayed and left with her as if it had been here just to hold her hand the whole way back.

I wouldn't say her choice of person to fall in love with was wrong. Then I would have to negate the greatest sacrifice she was ready to make for her baby. I wouldn't insult it that way. I wouldn't insult her that way.

When I looked up, I saw Rafe, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. He had a sober expression on his face and when I held my arms out to him, he walked to me and took me in his arms.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked, my voice coming out thick and throaty from sleep and crying.

He just leaned back and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Then, he held out his hand and when he uncurled his fist, I saw something akin to a locket.

I took it in my hands, running my thumb over the smooth metal finish.

"What's this?" I whispered.

"Kylee's ashes now cushion a sapling and a tree will grow in her memory." He said, before gesturing to the locket in my hand with a small tilt to his head, "We save some of the ashes for a dear one to hold with them for as long as they wish to have it."

I looked down and it, blinking away the tears that threatened to slip through. While a part of me was sad that I hadn't witnessed the planting of the sapling, I knew I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I wasn't ready yet. And when I was, the plant that grew for her would be there. It would be a representation of her life. I would go see her.

I curled my fingers around the locket and smiled as I looked up through at him, tears blurring my vision.

"Thank you." I said, reaching behind me to unclasp my chain and add her locket to it. Rafe waited patiently until I was done and when I was, he took my hand in his.

"We need to go somewhere," he said.

I looked at him. I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to stay still and not move. I wanted to stare away in space and have my thoughts show me mercy by getting lost.

"I know it is hard. But I need you to do this for me." He said, squeezing my hands.

I took a deep breath, rubbed my free hand against my face, then nodded. I looked at him.

"Okay." I said.

I thought he would immediately usher me out of the room, but he made me bathe, something I did mechanically and only because he was asking me to. Right now I couldn't care less.

Then, he tried to get me to eat. But my stomach revolted. I don't know why I thought he would give up, but he gave me a steely eyed gaze and had me drink some broth, his eyes flashing in satisfaction as the broth stayed in my stomach and didn't threaten to come out—something I felt he had some play in.