Alienus

Chapter Forty Five

I paced. Short, fast steps. Back and forth. Back and forth.

What was happening?

Everything Rafe had told me was at war with everything I'd just seen.

I cannot believe she shut the door on my face like that.

"Are you going to keep pacing or come inside?"

I snapped my head to the side to look at Rafe as he leaned casually against the threshold of the entrance to his room.

I'd been in front of his room for at least ten minutes now. I noticed that he'd opened the door a few seconds after I'd started pacing, but I'd ignored him, letting my thoughts overwhelm me, while he waited patiently, letting me vent out my frustration in short quick circular steps.

I stopped before him.

"Can you or can you not have sex?" I asked.

Rafe didn't even flicker a lash at that question.

"Yes, I can have sex." He said, his broad arms crossed, muscles bulging as he leaned forward a little to meet my gaze.

I waved my hands, "No, I mean, can you have sex before you surrender to you partner?"

Rafe straightened, dropping his arms. His expression became guarded.

"Why are you asking me this?" He said.

I swallowed.

"Answer my question," I said.

Rafe's jaw clenched.

"No, we cannot have sex without surrendering to our partners." He said, finally.

I rubbed a hand down my face.

"Why are you asking me this?" He asked again, stepping towards me, his hands cupping my throat, thumbs pressing against my jaw and lifting my head up.

"Is there ever...abuse in relationships between ethrés?" I whispered.

Rafe's eyes swept over my features, flicking between both of my eyes.

"Why would you ask such a thing?" Rafe asked, dropping his forehead to mine.

I swallowed and just as I was about to tell him everything, I remembered Kylee's request...asking me not to say anything.

The opposite needs warred against me, pulling me apart. Do I tell or not?

I licked my lips, leaned back and shook my head.

"Just curious." I said.

Rafe's eyes narrowed and he dropped his hands, before catching my chin in between his forefinger and thumb.

"You are lying." He said, his gaze dark on my face.

I thought about the mark on her cheek. The look on her face. Her denial. Her child.

Screw this.

"I don't..." I took a deep breath, rubbing a hand down my face, dislodging his hold on me in the process. God, I feel like I can't breathe.

How do I say this to him without giving away too much?

Should I respect her wishes?

But she was being hit.

I squared my shoulders.