*Alexander's pov*
It was 2 a.m and I couldn't sleep. So I quietly paced in the living room before giving up and typing an essay that wasn't due for three weeks.
My fingers lightly slapped against the keys, bringing a small amount of sound to the quiet room. I never liked the quiet.
Suddenly, a burst of light flashed through the blinds and a boom of thunder sounded. I jumped like three feet in the air. The clock said 3:24 a.m, which means i've been typing for over an hour.
The rain started plummeting down from the sky like bullets. This is too much sound, it's too much, I can't handle it, and now tears are falling from my eyes faster than the rain, dripping off my cheeks into my open palms.
This is too much, too much.........
*Laurens pov*
I suddenly open my eyes. Checking my phone, the time read 3:40. I assume the rain woke me up until i hear soft whimpers coming from the other room. Alex isn't next to me.
My feet hit the carpeted floor and i curiously walk towards the sound.
"A-Alex...?" I mutter. Alex is lying on the couch in a heap of blankets, his face red, sobs escaping his mouth. He looks at me with scared eyes, and my heart shatters into pieces, falling on the floor like a smashed vase.
"W-What's wrong, 'Lex?" I ask, he responds with a sob as his whole body uncontrollably shakes.
"I-I.....I'm s-o sor...sorry for waking you-up..you...can go back- to bed..." He mutters and stutters and shakes harder.
I shake my head. "No, I'm here to help. Feel free to wake me up whenever." I whisper, sitting on the couch and putting his head in my lap.
"N-no...I'm being stu-stupid!" He yells, then goes back to sobbing.
I sit there quietly, nervous. The storm gets worse and so does Alex's panic attack. It's at the point where i don't even think he can breath. I am correct because he looks at me with a panicked look.
"L-L-Laurens I c-can't breath!" He gasps out.
I have no idea what to do. His panic attack is so bad that he can't breathe, I feel so terrible. The only thing I can do is text Lafayette to come help.
"O-okay I'm gonna call Lafayette...he's- he's a medical major...just wait...p-please take deep breaths Alex." I say shakily, tears forming in my eyes.
"L-Lafayette?" I stutter out.
"What is it, mon ami?" He asks groggily.
"Alex, he-he's having a panic attack or something...and he can't breath and I don't-" It's at this point I start crying and my voice is almost screaming "I don't know what to do Lafayette!" I sob.
After 17 (I counted) seconds of silence, Lafayette replies.
"I'll be right there."
+++
"Alex? Can you hear me?" Lafayette asks the sobbing boy. I see Alex lightly nod.
"Good! Okay, so I understand you're scared and panicked, and you can't help it. This isn't your fault, you can't choose when this happens. I need you to take deep breaths. You need to breath." Lafayette speaks slowly and clearly. Alex is wide-eyed and he struggles to respond.
"I-I can't! I-"
"I know, Alexander. How can I help you?" Lafayette asks, rubbing Alex's back.
Alex doesn't reply.
"What's causing this?" Lafayette rephrases.
I don't think Alex is going to answer until he chokes out "s-storm."
"Okay! The Storm. We can help you. Do you want Laurens to lay with you?" Alex nods and I practically run over to him, embracing him.
Lafayette pulls out some headphones and an ipod from his bag and puts some music on for Alex. In less than ten minutes, he is completely calmed down and sleeping.
I don't realize I'm crying until Lafayette asks "What's wrong?"
I shake my head. "I was just so scared. He tried not to wake me up, what would have happened if I wasn't there? I wasn't there, I was sleeping, I could have helped him-" Lafayette shushes me.
"Non non non, Mon ami. Panic attacks happen. Alex was triggered by the storm, try to talk to him about it tomorrow, okay? I need to get back to my dorm, bring the headphones to me tomorrow."
I nod. Lafayette leaves and I eventually drift off to sleep.
+++
*Alex's pov*
I wake up to the smell of coffee.
"Morning beautiful!" Laurens says excitedly.
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry about last night! I...I was so stupid, it was dumb...I'm so sorry-" I cut myself off as tears form in my eyes.
Laurens hugs me.
"Hey...shhh. It's fine. It wasn't stupid, we're always here to help you Alex. We can talk about it later if you want, but never blame yourself for things you can't help. I love you."
I look at Laurens.
"Thank you..." i whisper pulling him into a kiss. He melts into the kiss and eventually we just lay on the couch, I listen to his heartbeat and breath in the fresh air coming in from the window.
I never get over how much I love John Laurens.
Author Note- Hey losers i'm back with less updates and more extisential crisis's so get ready.
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Helpless (lams)
Fanfictionread this story, it's some good stuff. When Alexander began college, love wasnt something he was searching for. But he found it.
