Georgia Rose (One Direction)

Chapter 33

"Cara! Harry! Smile for the photo!" A man yelled as he chased after us with the large camera around his neck.

Cara barely nudged me in the side to smile but it felt like a sledgehammer bashing into my weak, unused muscles. I looked into the camera and truly tried to smile but I know nobody could be fooled by it. I haven't smiled once in the past two weeks so why should I start now?

Is it because I have a girl that to the world is the definition of perfect on my arm? Is that it? Because if anything that makes me more upset.

To society, Cara is absolutely perfect. She has the long, blonde hair that is never out of place paired with a body girls would probably die to have. I don't get it though. Cara doesn't have an ounce of fat on her body, she's skin an bones. Why would someone want that?

Why can't girls see that having a belly is alright? They go through extremes just to fit what they think perfect is. That's not perfect to me though.

Perfect to me is having fat on your body and being proud of it. The definition of perfect is not caring if your thighs touch or if you get rolls of fat when you sit down. It's not worrying whether the shirt you're wearing is too tight or not tight enough. Perfection isn't putting makeup on straight when you wake up in the morning because you hate the way you look without it, it's owning the way you look naturally and really believing that you are beautiful no matter what. Not caring about whether you have flabs under your armpits or have cellulite on your thighs is what I call perfection. You have to believe in yourself and not what others think of you. Confidence is true perfection.

Cara is not perfection. I don't care how mean that sounds, she just isn't. Maybe if she didn't starve herself just to fit the cover of a magazine, then she would be.

I didn't choose to date Cara, the decision was made for me. I was forced to tell the world that Cara and I are dating, but believe me when I say I didn't go down without a fight.

I don't want to date Cara, or even fake date her. Sure, she's a nice girl and all but I can't see myself dating anyone else but Georgia.

I miss Georgia so much, today is the first time in 14 days that I have came out of my house. I didn't think I could handle the outside world just yet and coming out here today just confirms my worries.

Fans , the tabloids and just about every single other part of the media has already picked up on how Georgia and I have split up. People even made fun of us and joked on how our relationship didn't last 2 months even.

Now I'm here on the streets of London with tons of people screaming my name into my sensitive ears. I fight the burning feeling I have in the pit of my stomach and behind my eyes, I can't cry.

I feel my eyes watering slightly as I think about Georgia. I cant help to compared Cara to her. When I hold Georgia's hand she wraps it tightly around mine and intertwines our fingers. It's such a simple gesture but its so intimate at the same moment. When I hold Georgia's hand, I'm holding my world.

When I hold Cara's hand, the warmth isn't there. She doesn't lock her fingers tightly between mine, knuckles against knuckles. She doesn't rub her thumb over the back of of my hand to comfort me and she doesn't squeeze my hand to reassure me that she loves me. She just simply holds it. Anybody wouldn't be able to tell a difference, but there's a huge one.

When I look at Georgia in the eyes I see a whole different world. I see something so much deeper than the intense blue that is displayed. I travel so much farther into her eyes than she thinks, so far that I even feel what she feels. I look in Cara's eyes and I see absolutely nothing, other than the green eyes that are shown, nothing.

Georgia was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me, I'm not lying. I'm constantly wondering about her and hoping she's okay. I always think about her and what's she's doing.

I hope she has forgotten about me, hopefully she's moved on. She doesn't need me, I've only caused her trouble.

It's so true though, her life was perfect before I came and tore it all down.

Georgia's POV

"Why do you always do this? Why can't you be strong like everybody else? Why are you so weak that you can't even pick up the pieces and glue them back together? You've fooled everyone, Georgia. You slap on a smile and lie to every single person you ever look at. Do you like lying to other people? To yourself? Come on, look at me now and tell me that you love yourself, that you love every single thing about yourself." Silence. "You can't, can you? That's because there's nothing good about you. You could stand here completely naked and I wouldn't find a single thing that is worth having someone love you. I could look at you for hours on end and still not come up with something about you that is beautiful. No scratch that idea, I wouldn't ever want to look at you. As a matter of fact, I don't even know how I'm looking at you right now. When I look into your eyes, I don't see anything special. Aren't eyes supposed to be unique? All I see is plain blue, if you ask me that is not even the least bit unique. When I look at your cheeks and see the freckles scattered across them, I feel like throwing up. Who wants dots covered all over their face? Not me. I look at your body and laugh because those stretch marks aren't going unnoticed. Don't try to hide those nasty purple lines scattered on your hips, I see them. Do you believe that it doesn't matter if your thighs don't touch? Because that is complete bullshit, you need a thigh gap because being totally honest here, doughy thighs aren't beautiful. Nobody wants to be able to grab a handful of fat, that's utterly disgusting. Your hair will never ever look like those girls off of tumblr so why do you even try? It's ugly no matter what. It won't shine no matter how many times you spray that shit on it and burn it to death with a straightener. You'll never look as beautiful as those Tumblr girls because they have something you don't. Beauty. You don't even look good with makeup on so why could you even think you have natural beauty? You might as well load up on the cover up because your skin tone is making me feel sick. You know what? No, you might as well just live in the dog house because that's what you look like. You look like an animal. Animals aren't beautiful. Animals walk on their hind legs and don't know left from right. You're definitely as dumb as an animal. But you know the one thing you and a hairy, ugly, stinky, good for nothing animal don't have in common? People love animals, people would love to care for animals and call them their own. They wouldn't love to do that for you though, nobody loves you and nobody will ever love you for so many reasons. Look at those scars on your arms and stomach. Go on, look at them! They are the most unattractive things I've ever seen in my life. Nobody wants to deal with you and your stupid, ugly, unbearable problems. You need to realize that! I gave up on you so long ago, it all goes through one ear and out the other with you! Process what I'm saying. If your stupidity is getting the better of you, write it down. Do something! Just listen to me now because I'm so utterly sick of repeating it. You are the ugliest human being that has ever walked the planet! Get that through your thick fucking skull! Go ahead, cut yourself! You could do it right now for all I care! You're not beautiful! You're not worth anything! You're a filthy animal and you should just kill yourse-" I punched the mirror and it shattered into pieces.

im sorry if youre finding this story hard to read from past experiences I love you and remember we can stick through it together

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