Tourist Trap

Chapter 22

"That's very noble of you," Max said. "And that's no bull." 

"Hey," Sarah said. "What did I say to you about making puns?" 

"But it's true. This guy's no bull... he's a yak." Max giggled to himself. 

In a fit of irritation, Sarah picked up a rock with the intention of smacking Max across the head with it. Before she could throw it a cloud of red smoke burst forth and enveloped her causing her to experience a strange bout of jealousy and inferiority that she certainly hadn't had a minute ago. "I don't know why but I'm suddenly very envious of your wit, Max. I wish I could make puns half as good as you can." 

"Heh heh," Max chuckled to himself. "I think I kind of like this place after all. These are the most truthful words I've heard her say yet. What'd you do, turn over an honesty rock?" 

"I don't think it's honesty," Sarah crinkled her forehead in confusion. "I don't recall ever feeling this way before but I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the realization of how much better you are than me." 

"True, true," Max rubbed his chin. "Go on." 

"Actually I'm kind of jealous of your superiority. I kind of feel like breaking your arms. Maybe that'll even us up a little." 

"Whoah, let's not get carried away here, babe," Max cringed instinctively. "It's refreshing to hear you acknowledge your betters, but there's no need to hate." 

Sarah made a sudden grab for Max's arm, but Willy restrained her gently. "See? This is why I told you not to touch any of the rocks. They're very dangerous and they do have a habit of bringing out the worst in people." 

"I wish I could break free but it's suddenly obvious that you're my physical superior in every way, shape, and form," Sarah lamented. "I wish I could be half as strong as you." 

"Looks like you've got a temporary inferiority complex from an envy rock," Willy said. "Don't worry, it'll pass." 

"I'm rather jealous that you guys are free from this affliction but I'm not," Sarah said. "How long is this going to last?" 

"Depends on the strength of the dosage," Willy shrugged. "Sometimes the effects pass after a few minutes, sometimes it takes days, weeks, even months." 

"Well, I for one like the change," Max said. "Except for the trying to break my arms part. Drop that and keep the rest and we've got a new and improved Sarah on our hands as far as I'm concerned." 

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think it's starting to wear off," Sarah smiled with a sense of self-satisfaction. "I'm beginning to feel my usual vague level of contempt for you, Max. In fact, I can't imagine envying you at all. I must have been temporarily out of my mind." 

"I agree you were out of your mind," Max said. "I don't think there's anything temporary about it though. You're one crazy bitch." 

"You jerk!" Sarah was about to pick up another rock but suddenly thought better of it. "I'll deal with you later, mister. In the meantime how do we get across this field without disturbing more rocks?" 

"Oh I don't recommend trying to cross the field," Willy said seriously. "I can do it because I know the ins and outs of it like the back of my hoof." 

"You could guide us across," Sarah said. 

"It's not really a matter of needing a guide," Willy said. "You've just got to avoid knocking over any rocks. But you have to be very steady on your feet in order not to disturb any. Even the smallest pebble can set off a dangerous burst of smoke." 

"Well then what should we do?" Sarah asked. "We have to get to the other side of this field." 

"I suggest taking the long way around," Willy said. "It'll only add a few hours to your journey. You've just got to work your way over that big tall mountain peak there and you'll be right on the other side."