Stumbling through the dark

Psychotic Episode

Zayn woke up, screaming , as sweat poured down his face. He didn't even register he was awake, he was so terrified. He'd been edgy for days and had finally taken a nap, exhausted from days of not sleeping well.

"Zee, Zee...wake up, for g*d's sake" Gigi caught his shoulders and shook him. He stared into her face, suddenly  falling silent. "What's wrong, babe?"she asked, petrified by the expression on Zayn's normally calm face. He shook his head and broke away from her, curling up on his side in a foetal position, and  starting to sob again. "Please, Zee. You're scaring me". But Zayn refused to either answer or acknowledge her.

Gigi stood frowning down at the sleeping man. Zayn had finally  drifted back to sleep though it looked far from peaceful, he was tossing and turning, talking incoherently and  she heard him say 'Niall' . She bent closer, concentrating, hoping she could make out what he could be dreaming about. Dreams were meant to be fun but Zayn looked and sounded tormented. She walked out of the room ,and into the adjoining bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet hurriedly to locate the thermometer. Zayn had been hot so perhaps he was running a fever and was delirious? Seeing what she needed, Gigi was about to grab  it quickly when a small bottle caught her attention. It looked full. That wasn't right, it should be half empty. She pulled it out and opened it, tipping the contents into her hand. No, that's not right, she thought. There were too many pills. Suddenly she realised the significance of it all. Zayn hadn't been taking his prescribed medication. Bit by bit , the jigsaw pieces started to fit together. The erratic behaviour, the abruptly changing moods, the strange thoughts he'd expressed...so dark. She'd been so wrapped up with the children, it had crept up on her. She put the pills back and snatched up the thermometer again.

"Zee, I  think  you should  go see the doctor again" Gigi spoke cautiously, not wanting to upset Zayn.  "You don't look well."

"I'm fine." was the terse response.

"Zayn, you're not fine. You don't eat, you barely sleep and when you do sleep, you're tossing and turning. You won't even tell me what's wrong." Gigi pulled the bottle of pills from her pocket and held it out  "and you've stopped taking your medication". Zayn glared at her then knocked the bottle from her hand and stalked out of the room. She watched as he slammed the door behind him as he walked into the forest behind their home. Sighing, she made a quick phone call , then followed. She knew where he'd headed. Whenever he needed peace, he'd go there. It was his spot, his haven from the world.

Zayn leant his back against a tree and let his thoughts wander to the past. This tree, this particular spot ,was his favourite retreat. He came here when he wanted to be alone, when he needed to think. He closed his eyes and Niall's face floated before him, his bright blue eyes twinkling. Zayn felt tears escape from his closed eyelids and trickle slowly down his face. Niall .....and Niall was gone.  Zayn felt soft arms go around him and Gigi whispering quietly to him to go with her, that everything would be fine. He allowed himself to led back to the house but instead of going in, Gigi walked him to the car , opened the passenger door and helped him in, fastening the seatbeat for him. She kissed his forehead then closed the door and jogged around to the drivers side. Zayn remained quiet and unresponsive as she drove towards the secluded part of town where Zayn's doctor had his office.

Gigi looked at the clock as she sat in the luxurious waiting room. It was undoubtedly comfortable but she couldn't settle. She needed to know Zayn would be  all right. that she'd done the right thing bringing him here. She turned quickly when the door opened and the doctor stood there, "Mrs Malik, if you'd come in" he smiled at her gravely and indicated a seat next to Zayn who looked confused, rather like a small child watching a magic trick and unable to work out how it had been done. He was sat in a deep armchair, legs drawn up, arms around them, like he was trying to make himself so small he could disappear.