Stumbling through the dark

Now, What On Earth?

Harry quickly put a call through to Liam and Louis as soon as he had left Niall. He wanted them to know that their little Nialler was OK even though he was a patient once more at the hospital. Once he had assured them that their bandmate was fine, he was desperate to be told what had happened after he had left. He wasn't happy to find that Zayn had slipped through their fingers once more.  He headed back to Louis' where they all planned to meet up and discuss the situation. None of them were looking forward to the fallout from Zayn's little television revelation. Maybe they could find out something they'd be able to tell Niall tomorrow.

"You are going to have to start eating, Mr Horan, if you intend to be discharged" the nurse told Niall sternly. "The doctor is very displeased". Niall looked at her, shrugged before turned his head away. She picked up the breakfast tray and stalked from the room, muttering under her breath about uncooperative patients. Niall couldn't make himself even begin to care. He was feeling more and more depressed. Suddenly he remembered the strange noise he heard during the night. He quickly pressed the call bell and moments later the nurse reappeared. 

"Ummmmh, who visited me last night after Harry left?" he asked hesitantly. "It was very late". The nurse looked at him as if he had lost his senses.

"Mr Horan, you had no visitors after I asked Harry to leave. You needed your rest" the nurse replied slightly snappily. She wasn't used to patients disobeying any of her instructions.

"But , I did. I heard someone come and sit next to me. I think they were writing something" Niall persisted.He wasn't going to be put off by her snippy manner.

"Mr Horan, you must have been dreaming. There were no visitors.  The night nurses would have recorded it in the log if there had been and I can assure you there is no such entry. Now, I shall be back shortly to help you bathe"

"Oh no, you won't. I can take a shower by myself. " The nurse turned to leave in a huff. "And I wasn't dreaming!" Niall called after her. He was sure he hadn't been dreaming. Someone had been there. He wished he had been able to open his eyes. Maybe Harry had come back...or Liam..or Louis. He wasn't mental and he wasn't dreaming. He'd get to the bottom of it. He looked at the canula stuck in his hand and pulled it out before scrambling out of the bed . F.ck,f.ck,f.ck he grumbled as his hand began bleeding. He  headed quickly to the shower as the alarm on the IV bleeped crazily.

Niall leaned against the shower wall and let the water pour over him. The bleeding from his hand where he had ripped the canula out had gradually stopped so the water was no longer tinged pink. No doubt he'd be getting a lecture from the nurse but he had already decided. He was going to discharge himself. He couldn't take any more of being hospitalised and he wanted to be free to try and track down Zayn.  He closed his eyes in thought, soothed by the water flowing over his skin.

Back at Louis' house the other One Direction lads were deep in discussion. True to form, the media was having a field day with Zayn's TV confession. But that was the least of their problems. Management were furious and they had been told to attend a meeting with Management and the PR team later that morning. Simon was also going to be there. Louis had been calling Zayn non stop but his calls all went to voice mail.  Nobody knew where Zayn was, or even if he was still in the country. He had seemingly vanished into thin air. Neither the fans nor the paps had caught sight of him. Even Trisha, Zayn's mother, denied knowing where her son was at the moment. Twitter had exploded. There was a lot of support for both Zayn and Niall but also some hate too with so called fans attacking both boys , their daunts vicious and cruel. Liam, Louis and Harry all hoped that that the other two would steer well clear of twitter until things died down.

Liam rubbed his hands over his face in exhaustion. None of them had slept at all last night. All of the night had been spent in trying to find ways of repairing the damage Zayn had done to himself without it causing hurt to Niall. But there seemed no way out. Management's plan had been that Niall was to convince  the media that it was just another rumour and he had flushed the pills down the toilet not swallowed the lot. Zayn's  intervention blew that plan out of the water. It may have saved Niall but at what cost to Zayn himself? None of them understood. " It 's useless" Liam said, finally admitting defeat. "I only hope Management don't make things worse". Louis and Harry looked at him , both with grave faces. They both could only hope the same.

"Mr Horan!" the nurse's outraged voice brought Niall back to earth with a bang. He was still under the shower. He blushed a fiery red at being caught naked and hastily reached for a towel to wrap around his waist. "What are you doing out of your bed? I distinctly told you I would be coming to assist you to bathe"

"And I said I could do it myself" Niall grumbled loudly back.

"Hurry up and get dry so I can get you back into bed. The doctor will be with you shortly" She turned on her heel and Niall could hear her moving around in his room. He quickly dried then pulled on the stupid hospital gown he'd been given to wear. He hated those with a passion. Another reason to leave!

"F.ck that hurt" Niall yelled as a new canula was inserted into his hand and the IV reattached. The nurse glared at him before telling him the doctor would be there in a few moments. Niall lay back and sulked.

"I hear you've been a naughty boy, Niall" were the doctor's opening words as he came into the room. "You've been giving  your nurse a hard time"

"Nurse? Battle Axe is a better description" Niall muttered darkly.

"She is rather...ahh...firm" the doctor agreed sympathetically. "But she is right about one thing ..you'll be staying with us a lot longer if you don't allow us to look after you properly.

"I want to discharge myself" Niall immediately responded. "I want to leave now"

"Niall, I can't stop you but it isn't in your best interests. Why are you so desperate to leave when you clearly are not well enough?"

"Apart from Battle Axe Bertha? I hate it here, I hate everything about it. I just want to go home" Niall felt embarrassed by the way his voice was cracking. "I can't stay, I want to leave.Please?" 

"Can we discuss this Niall?" the doctor pulled up the chair and sat down next to Niall. "Let's find out what the real root of the problem is for you. And I don't think it's just the Battle Axe". He looked across at Niall who was twisting and untwisting the top of his sheet between his fingers. Niall shrugged and looked up at the ceiling without speaking. "I've got plenty of time" the doctor said quietly. Niall knew he'd end up having to talk sooner or later ,so taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, he began to talk to the doctor. Starting right from the beginning of getting his diagnosis, to his failed therapy with the Psychologist to right through to Zayn's intervention on live TV. Once he had started, the words poured out from him like a dam had suddenly burst. He felt he must have talked for hours as the doctor sat there patiently only interrupting from time to time to gently probe for more information .Eventually Niall finished speaking .

The room was silent though faint sounds of a busy hospital intruded from time to time. Niall rubbed at his sore, red eyes. He hadn't realised that he had become so emotional and was embarrassed by the tears still flooding from his eyes. The doctor had left the room for a few moments then returned with a different nurse who was carrying a small covered tray. "Niall, the nurse is going to give you something to help you rest. I am also going to be prescribing some more medication for you but I'll discuss it with you after you've had some sleep" He smiled warmly at his young patient and left Niall with the new nurse.

"Now then, Mr Horan" the nurse had a lovely Irish accent " or is it Ok to call you , Niall?"  She got a small smile in response. " First things firsts,let me get you to sit out in this chair for a moment and I'll smooth out that bed for you. You'll be more comfortable then" She bustled about changing the sheets and plumping up the pillows.

"Where's the Battle Axe?" Niall wanted to know. He didn't really care, he just wanted to listen to the comforting accent.

"Oh, we swopped patients. You're too naughty for her".    She gave him an impish grin as she helped him back into the bed, carefully checking the IV was still secure. "Now then, you'll feel a quick jab then it will be done and you can have a nice rest". Niall winced as he felt the needle jab into his thigh. He  was already tired after an emotional few hours and was ready to sleep with or without medical assistance.The nurse pulled up the sheet and blanket and lowered down the bed before raising the sides and locking them into place. "No escaping to the shower for you" she gently teased.

"Now what on earth !" he heard the nurse say. "This was in with you bedding. It must have been under your pillows. I'll pop it on your bedside table and you can read it when you've had your nap" Niall screwed up his eyes trying to see what she was holding but the tiredness won and he was soon asleep.