Chapter 1 | Missing Her
There is enough fire inside you
to put all of hell to shame,
but you are pretending
to be water
for someone who is
too afraid to handle the dragons
in your belly.
Stop crushing the thing
that makes you.
Embrace the flames.
Be whole again for yourself
And no one else.
- Nikita Gill
~¤§¤~
It has been exactly a year today.
A year since Amaya has left us, and I haven't acted the same since this day. Five days ago was our 8th birthday, and it is now the first time that I have celebrated it without her.
Every day feels like an eternity like I'm trapped in an endless loop of time. As each day goes by, I keep telling myself that she is okay. That she is right here next to me and not in another world. My dreams have her in it, and I am almost convinced that it is my reality when I know it isn't true.
Some of my older siblings have tried to cheer me up, and when they're not with me I hear them talk about how I may have major depression. They think I don't know what that means due to me being only 8 years old, but if you spend a lot of time listening it's not that hard to figure out. I don't think there will be any way to cheer me up.
I just need time.
But isn't that what we all need? Time?
A way to change what has happened, a new reality.
I wish father was here, he would be able to save us all from Dorian, but he can't. Our real father is in another world as well, and I miss him almost as much as I miss Amaya.
Though I know that he is watching us wherever he is, and one day we will see him again. My siblings don't believe me when I tell them that Dorian isn't our father, but I want to convince them. After all, it is because of him that Amaya had to be sent to that other world, that we all had to grow up and not be like other children our age, and that we had to deal with all of this pain.
How mother has dealt with him all these years, I can't imagine. Knowing me, if I were her I would try and possibly kill him, even though that's not a great way to end this. She's powerful though, even without her powers, which makes me wonder why she hasn't stood against Dorian. Is she afraid? Worried for our safety? Tired? Sick of fighting? There are too many questions about this that I want to ask her, but I don't think that she will tell me.
Who knew that sitting in front of a window, just looking at the stars could make you think so much. I suppose I've been doing that a lot lately, same with Leila. That girl is really something, even if she is only four-years old. Sometimes I hear her voice as someone older, but I seem to be the only one that can hear that change.
"Alice?" A young voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I turn to the voice. The sound of the ocean waves echoing inside the house almost drowns out her voice. There is no wonder why I fell asleep, the sound of the ocean always distracts me but it also makes me think of Amaya.
"Leila? What's wrong?" I finally say, giving her a look as she walks towards me. If Leila wasn't four years younger than I was you would think that we could possibly be twins, despite the fact that her hair is blonde while mine is brown. People think that we look exactly like our mother, but I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. She grabs hold of my hand and lightly tugs on it, a silent motion that I figured out last year, to follow.
"I want to show you something."
Something behind what she says gives me a chill, like something bad, is going to happen.
