Beyond | ✔

~wabi-sabi~

                             

~ wabi-sabi - a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay
                             

Lying in my bed, I looked at the stars glimmering high above in the sky and thought about the events of the night. There had been times of distress in my life but never in my life had I felt so much at loss. Had I been right to not make a move all that time? At least I had been happy in my fantasies back then when there was no pain and hurt. It had felt better amidst the web of my imaginations when I didn't feel like I was falling to pieces every moment. I had been right to revel in my dreams rather than facing this rejection because life was a bliss when it was away from reality.

Of all the times that I had escaped this moment, I didn't know why I had chosen to face it on the best night of my life. What was I even thinking? That she would lay her hand happily in my hand as if I was a Disney prince? But the reality was that I was no prince and the ballerina of my dreams had showed me that once you wake up, a dream is nothing but a dream. Being completely heart broken, I so wanted to wake up with amnesia and forget all the fantasies that I had woven for a whole year.

Turning my head around, I saw the crumpled paper on my side table. I didn't know what was written inside it but I was too afraid to open and read it after several hours even. I had waited a whole year to gain nothing but rejection so how could I open this paper in just one night and let it take the soul out of me? All of my fears had come true after the cycle of 365 and more days. I couldn't bring myself to get utterly scattered like fallen glitter.

A tear rolled down the side of my eye and soaked in the pillow beneath my head as I looked above at the wall decorated with all the memories that I had been drunk on for the past year. I had not approached her just for the fear of losing her forever and now, it all had come true. I even ditched my fortune for her magical pirouettes but I got nothing except heart ache in the end.

Slowly, I wiped my tears and got up. Moonlight filtered in through the curtains when I extended my hand and picked up the small piece of wrinkled paper from the side table. Better to get over with it all tonight.

However, when I opened the note, it changed me forever. It taught me that things are not meant to be perfect and I had been loving her from a distance uptil then but she was more than a ballerina. She was a human being with imperfections.

I squinted down at the moonlit note as shock took hold of my entire system. Of all the things in the world, I had never expected the words written on it.

Faye Pearl, the ballerina of my dreams, couldn't speak.

Author's Note

Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder in which a person who is normally capable of speech does not speak in specific situations or to specific people. It co-exists with shyness or social anxiety. (Credits to Google)

This is the reason Faye couldn't reply to Alan and this boy suffered so much for nothing. :( This tells that never assume because things might not be as they appear. :')

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4 more chaps to go. There would be an Epilogue too and I'll post fun facts about this book in the end. :')

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Hazel ^-^