Avenger Escapades ➸ Reader//Avengers

No Rainicorns Allowed

You sigh. You go about just texting Kyla, seeing as they probably all came together at the party anyway, and turn your phone off so it doesn't disturb the movie. It would be rude to randomly leave for some party you'll probably wish you hadn't attended, held by someone you didn't even know, especially when everyone here was treating you as if you are apart of the group. You smiled, thinking how nice it was to finally feel like you belonged somewhere.

*****

"So, where's Paris Hilton?" You inquire, as the scene of 'imitation Thor' being jettison from the Helicarrier came on.

"Who?"

"Thor."

"Ah, he said he would be here for the second movie. Do you ever notice how Loki's hair seems to be perfectly windblown in every scene?"

"Does someone wish they had long, flowing, god-like hair?"

"Funny." Steve grimaced. You started to put your phone away when you noticed something you hadn't seen before, or rather someone, in the Lock screen. His reflection nearly made you scream...

Or facepalm.

"Loki! What are you doing here? Hiding from something again?"

Everyone followed your gaze to the dark haired immortal standing quietly in the background. From the startled expression on Clint's face, you half expected him to dash into the vents.

"Were you here the entire time? Seriously, dude, get a hobby!" Clint chimed in; exasperated at the fact that Loki had managed to sneak up on him.

"It is a matter of who I am hiding from." Loki answered calmly, ignoring the archer's remark.

Before anyone could question him further, a loud crashing sound echoed throughout the main room. You turn to see Thor strut in with a huge grin and carrying a large Papa John's pizza box.

"Hello, my brothers in arms!" He greeted jovially, upon seeing Natasha he quickly rephrased his greeting. "And Lady Romanoff."

"Thor, I swear I will hide your poptarts if you ruin my ceiling again. I just finished renovating from last time!"

"Ah, but there was much traffic," Thor looked absolutely crestfallen as he carefully set the box down on a nearby table. "I shall knock next time."

Tony shrugged, ruined ceiling momentarily forgotten as the heavenly smell of pepperoni pizza reached his nose, and swiped three slices the second you opened the lid.

"Damn, son."

"Put a cork in it, birdboy," Clint was oblivious however, and too busy trading his pepperoni for Natasha's Hawaiian. "You could have mentioned L'oreal was coming."

Loki sneered at this; he didn't understand why this Midgardian tradition had to be held at the home of the most pretentious mortal he ever made contact with.

"I did not know until recently, he expressed great interest in attending -"

"LIES!" Loki hissed, if he knew Thor wouldn't return him to the dungeons, he would have strangled him right there. "Moreover I solely blame that Tom Hiddleston fellow for my troubles. I cannot travel anywhere in this country without a horde of Midgardian women tracking my every move. How I detest him!"

"Hey, he's actually a nice person," Steve pitched in, hoping to defuse the sudden tension added to an otherwise peaceful evening. "I've met him once, really levelheaded and a great actor."

"Says the man whose teeth are as white as snow." Loki huffed and sat as far away from Bruce as possible. The scientist simply shook his head and resumed his pizza eating.

You still got it, Bruce.

"Yeah? At least I don't have helmet hair." Cap all but pouted. It was quite sad seeing what he was reduced to in a short amount of time.

"You wish you adorned this level of sculpted beauty, Mr. Rogers." Loki ran a hand through his own dark locks for emphasis.

"The sass is real in here," Bruce mumbled, toying with a new design of blueprints for an office building on his Starkpad.

"LOKI." Thor's rumbling voice broke the argument, which you were thankful for as you could hardly hear yourself think let alone the movie.

"My apologies, I have been on Midgard far too long." Loki said with mock dejection. You really could punch him sometimes, although he has a certain knack for getting under everyone's skin that you couldn't help but admire.

Time trickled past before once again, someone interrupted your Avenger experience.

"Did he have to add the Mister? He makes it sound so pervy." Steve whispered with such sincerity that you had to laugh.

Loki was apparently working to gain the trust of Midgard and Asgard, and being seen with the Avengers helping to clean New York only justified it. Though, you weren't sure how good his intentions are, especially during times like these.

"Is this mortal passing as me?" Confusion was evident in Thor's voice.

"Yes, Thor. Don't you think he resembles you?" You were amused, knowing he would have something to say.

"His mane is much too...girly." Thor stated with some aversion.

"I happen to find Chris Hemsworth pretty sexy, girly-ness aside."

Everyone glanced at Natasha, and you noticed Bruce seemed to deflate a little.

"What? As if you all aren't thinking the same about the others," She stated. What she said was true, at least for you, there were several actors and actresses you had a crush on that you would NEVER admit to having to anyone's face though.

At least until you were among the fandom-hood.

"More than me?"

"Especially you, Clint."

Clint grumbled something else no one heard and grabbed for his Pepsi, which had miraculously disappeared.

"All right, somebody gonna die today. Who took it?"

You and Natasha fought to keep your laughter under control, well, mainly you. She was a master of self-control. Tony and Thor actually had a horrid high-pitched cackle while Steve just shook his head and frowned, apparently too old for these shenanigans. Bruce became intrigued as usual.

"Don't look at us, investigate Doom and Gloom over there," You finally speak up, regaining some of your dignity.

Loki shrugged, sipping the rest of Clint's Pepsi and completely missing the death glare the fuming archer sent him.

"What? Thor does not allow me anything with too much sugar."

"Why?" You ponder, curious as ever, and before anyone registers your question something odd starts to happen with Loki...

... Who has almost immediately shape-shifted into a unicorn. A green, full-sized, unicorn with a black mane.

"What in the actual -" Bruce begins, but due to complete shock, fails to finish. Natasha simply shakes her head and stares.

You aren't sure whether to laugh or cry and wouldn't be surprised if you were doing both. Clint, Pepsi forgotten, lay on the floor, wheezing with laughter.

"HOT DANIEL, I CALLED IT!" Tony shouted in a rush before snapping a pic and sending it straight to Twitter, hashtagging it
#hotdaniel#lokiisadorablebitches #ftmfw.

"That is why," Thor started casually, as if Loki did this all the time. Probably more often then any of them cared to know. "We don't keep pop tarts on Asgard."

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A/N: Thank you for the reads and votes!!