On Tour

Chapter 45- Baby Amara

A Week Later
"Saying stuff like, 'You only live once'
You got one time to figure it out
One time to twist and one time to shout
One time to think and I say we start now
Sing with me if you know what I'm talking about." "Tyler what are you doing?" I say laughing, walking into the neo natal unit, giving him a coffee. "Just making sure Amara here knows her favorite uncle's music." He says, "Uncle Tyler, I guess it has a nice ring to it," I slouch down in the chair next to my baby, "It also makes you sound old." I say taking a swig of my coffee, wishing it was tea. "Can you save my heavydir-" He pauses the music on his phone, looking down at me and Amara, "Oh C'mon, 28 is not that old." Tyler says sitting down across from me, he looks at Amara. "Neither is 25," I say flipping my hair. We both laugh and are interrupted by the doctor, "Ready to get this breathing tube removed?" He says, opening the clear box, Amara is in. "More then ever!" I say excited, setting my coffee down on a side table. I cross my legs as the doctor begins removing the tape from her mouth. "Once we are done removing the tube, we are going to still keep her monitored for the next week but she can be held and taken out of this box, we will have a small crib transferred in here instead." He says as he gently pulls the tube out of her throat. She coughs a little but then I notice something, "Um Why isn't her chest moving?" I say, she's not breathing. "Give it minute." The doctors says, I grab Tyler's hand really tight and I stop breathing myself. Come on, breath, just breath. Maybe she's never gonna breath, maybe she'll die, no, no, no, I can't loose her today, not today! Then, We hear a gasp for air and her chest rises, she takes a few more gasps and then her breathing steadies out. I start breathing again and I let go of Tyler, rubbing Amara's small head. "She'll be able to breath on her own now but if anything changes press that blue call button," he says pointing to a large square button on the monitor. I look up at him for approval and he says, "You can hold her now, just remember to support the head." He says slowly picking her up out of the box. He hands her to me and I hold her in my hands, "Awe, you're so pretty!" I say cooing, she's really warm and starts to open her eyes. She doesn't open them all the way, she is probably adjusting herself to the light, "Hi there," I say smiling, rocking her, she has beautiful light blue eyes. I made her, this little tiny adorable human came out of me. She starts to get fussy and the doctor hands me a bottle of warm formula. "She's probably hungry, also a tip, when warming up the formula drop some on your wrist and if it's hot on your wrist, it's too hot for her. I've already tested this one." He says, I nod and take the bottle from his hand. I put the nipple of the bottle to her mouth and she latches on immediately, closing her eyes. The doctor walks away and I sit down across from Tyler, "Her little gulping noises are gonna be the death of me." I say looking down at her, she is literally so adorable. "Agreed." He says, drinking his coffee. Dangggg, she must be hungry because half of this bottle is already gone. She keeps drinking and I rub her little baby blond hairs. They are so soft, it's like touching a lambs fine hair. She finishes her bottle and I hand it to Tyler, "Can you warm her up another one please?" I say, he graciously takes the bottle and walks away. I bounce her around, "Hi," I say cooing, "I'm your mom. Your dad is out getting lunch with Aunt Jenna, he'll back soon, he'll be very excited to see you. The one who's getting you another bottle, that's uncle Tyler, he's also the one that was making you listen to his music remember? Do you think we should let him try holding you?" I say looking down at her now open baby blue eyes, she brings her small hand up, rubbing her face, she coos and it makes me melt inside. AHHHH SHE'S SO ADORABLE. "Here," Tyler says sitting back down, presenting the now full bottle of formula. I take it and set it down on the counter, I stand up and walk two steps over to Tyler. "Want to hold her?" I say, he nods, "Sure," he smiles and I squat down next to him, handing him Amara, "Support the head," I say as a friendly reminder that if you drop my baby I'll drop a dis-track. He grabs her and she co's as if she's saying hi, "Hi!" Tyler says happily, making a silly face at her. I laugh and stand up, grabbing her bottle off the counter. I squeeze the bottle a little, letting a few drops fall onto my exposed wrist, "Ow!" I yell, trying not to curse in front of many small children. I slash my wrist against my side and then bring it up to my mouth, blowing on it. I guess it's better that it's me rather than the baby. I start walking over to the fridge area, looking at other families as I walk by. I am so grateful that Amara is getting better, looking at all these families whose babies are twice the size smaller than Amara was. I get to the freezers and stick the bottle in. I turn around and hop on the counter, looking out at everyone. I look across and see Tyler making faces at Amara saying a bunch of stuff to her, I laugh to myself. He's gonna make an amazing dad one day. I snap my head to the left when I hear a mother scream. I freeze for a moment and then I jump off the counter, running towards the family. "She's not breathing! Oh my- She's not breathing!" The mother says in hysterics holding her husband, the husband seems to be in shock for he is just standing there. "Uhmmmm," I say looking at the monitor, her heart rate has sky rocketed, Tachycardia, that's what's happening here. I look around the room, seriously why are there no god d*mn doctors on this floor?! I look back up at the monitor. Then I look back down at the baby, I unbox the clear chamber and I strike down at its chest, there's a bump in its rate but it continues at it's fast rate, I strike it again with a little more force, I look back up at the monitor and its heart completely stops, I hear the parents wail and scream 'What have you done?!' "Hang on," I say, staring down the monitor as if my eyes were lasers. Come on, seconds seems like minutes and soon the baby's heart starts back up, I hear the parents sigh in relief, and I take a step back. I look at her vitals and everything seems normal, "Ok, she should be fine for now, her chest might bruise a small bit but that's just becuase of how small she is. If anything changes, press the blue call button up there." I say pointing to the button. The parents seemed shocked as the mom says, "How did you know what to do?" I smile at her, "I did an internship at the Cleveland clinic for a year, I was training to be a Cardio thoracic surgeon before a-before things changed. What I just did there was basic training." I say, still mentally monitoring the baby's vitals. "I know you said things changed but, you should go back to being a surgeon becuase, what you just did there, you just saved our baby's life." The dad pipes in, the mother gives me a hug. I had forgotten how it felt to be in these situations, it's exhilarating. Maybe I should consider going back? They smile at me and thank me one more time before I walk back to the freezers. I take the formula out and test it on my wrist, perfect temperature. I start making my way back to Tyler, smiling at tired families on my way. I get to Tyler and begin to give him the bottle, but he begins to speak, looking up at me, so I pull the bottle away, "You know, she might not have your eyes or your hair, but she has the spitting imagine of your beautiful smile." He says, I smile down at him, I hand him the bottle and squat down next to him. He gives Amara the bottle and she starts chugging it down immediately, "I heard you over there by the way," he begins and I nervously play with her fingernails, "I didn't know you were into the medical field. And uh, By the way it looks, you could've been a hell-of-a good surgeon." He says and I look down at my sandals, I start to rub Amara's already long hair. "It's not to late you know." He adds, bouncing Amara. I stick my finger out on top of her little fingers and she reaches around it, using her entire hand to grasp my finger, she squeezes it and it's almost like she's telling me she loves me. "Is it?" I say rubbing her small arm with my thumb. Is it to late for another change?